short stories

When we were getting dressed for church last Sunday morning Jules explained, "When my baby sister is born I want to take him to Disney World and take him on Goofy's rollercoaster and Daddy can hold him while I hold on to the handlebars."

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I was tucking Julianna in for a nap one day and as I was leaving the room I said, "Goodnight Squirt."

She replied, "Mommy, I not a squirt! A squirt is someone who has juice in them!"

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Me: Jules, did you just feel that?! The baby just kicked you!

Her: With his shoe?

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Happy Father's Day

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Mark Twain, in "Bringing Up Father," Reader's Digest, September 1937

Happy Father's Day to all of the dad's out there! You are much appreciated.

with Julianna all I wanted was cheese

In the past ten days or so I have had cravings for the following:

baby back ribs
grilled shrimp
salt and vinegar potato chips
hushpuppies with melted butter
Claussen dill pickles
gummy bears
steak and baked potato
a BLT loaded with bacon



Why can't I want healthy things like fresh fruit or veggies? I'm sure you've heard the stories of the women who just can't get enough oranges or whatever and they wake up in the middle of the night peeling and ravenously eating oranges over the kitchen sink. Why can't I be one of those women? I mean, seriously. Baby back ribs...?



Since these pregnancy cravings started my sodium intake has probably tripled. Not good.



Problem is, I would still be about willing to give my left arm for a hushpuppy tonight.



What did you crave when you were pregnant? Or just hungry and bored?

this is the kind of day I've had

We had one of those nights last night. You know the ones every three months or so where you find yourself changing wet sheets in the middle of the night.

I had to do a grocery store mystery shop today (which you are technically not supposed to bring children to, but mom and Julianna were with me so they got their own buggies and did their own shopping separate from me). Well, Julianna decided to misbehave and make it one of those shopping trips, pushing her kiddie cart around in people's way, selecting various items for the cart herself, running away from us, and grabbing and dropping plenty of other stuff along the way.

It was also 90-something degrees today and I started feeling sick as we were walking in to the grocery store. I had to sit down because I was shaking so badly. I think my blood sugar was low because once I drank a Pepsi I felt better right away. Just another one of those side effects of being pregnant I suppose.

With all the rain we've had lately, my child has not been able to run out any of her energy outside and I didn't particularly want to spend the afternoon out in the heat today so I spent the afternoon sorting baby clothes and starting to clean out the nursery while Jules entertained herself. That translates to a whole other slew of opportunities for her to act poorly making it one of those afternoons cooped up inside all day with a three-year-old.

Then as we were making dinner tonight Jules decided to CUT. HER. HAIR. Now she has a lovely 'do that unfortunately I think she's quite proud of.

I however, am not.

Yes it was one of those days.

dumb question

Why is it that when we stand on our heads or hang upside down the blood rushes to our heads and we feel woozy yet in utero, babies don't get head rushes when they're upside-down despite the fact that blood is pumping through their bodies as well?

getting to know you

I copied this idea from another blog.  Brownie Points, I think...?  Anyway, thought it was cute so here it is.  

Twenty questions.  Post your answers in the comments if you want to play along.  Come on.  You know you've got nothing better to do this afternoon.  :)

1. summer television: waste of time or guilty pleasure?
   
2. baked potatoes: butter, sour cream, bacon bits, chives, cheese?  any or all?
   
3. Facebook: must-do or proud resister?
   
4. coupon clipping: yes or no?
5. babyback ribs or key lime pie?
   
6. Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune?
   
7. ocean waves or lazy river?
   
8. pickles: dill or sweet?
   
9. the economy: still ick or rebounding?
   
10. eBay or Craigslist?
11. Mexican food or sushi?
    
12. Edward, Jacob, or who cares?
    
13. pregnancy dreams: annoying or humorous?
    
14. summer thunderstorms: music to your ears or pain in the rear?
15. online games: good way to pass the time at work on a Friday or who has the time?
16. So You Think You Can Dance: addicting entertainment or yawn?
    
17. beach or mountains?
18. hardback or paperback?
19. Pepsi or Coke?
    
20. Ellie or Josh?  any bets?
    

why is it?

Why is it that my daughter knows what Waffle House is yet we've never even been there?

things I don't want to hear anymore

It's the last week of school.  I've spent the week managing dozens of disrespectful, energetic, uninspired elementary school kids in the 95 degree heat.  (One day so far without AC and another day outside all day at field day.)  Plus, I'm 5 months into my third pregnancy and I'm already exhausted, not sleeping well, and absolutely positively not comfortable.  And we're still broke.  Allow me to complain a little.

The following are things I could do without hearing for a while:

• "You should aim to gain only about 25 to 30 pounds throughout the pregnancy."
• the dog barking at 5am
  
• "What are we doing for dinner?"
• "Oh.  No one called you to tell you that your job for today was canceled?"
  
• "I want to look at princesses on your 'puter."
  
• "BB&T called again today."
• my daughter grinding her teeth in her sleep
• "We're out of milk."
• "I don't like you!"
• "Mrs. Tucker, are you pregnant?"
  
• the sound of my dishwasher slowly dying
• "Mommy, I want to watch Aladdin."

this is a good age

• She gets excited about just watching Daddy play video games.
  
• She just discovered water balloons and water guns for the first time.
  
• Junk from the Target $1 bins bring her great pleasure.
  
• She played with her first lightning bug tonight.
  
• She stills likes to sit in your lap or lay her head against your arm while she watches TV.
  
• She needs reassurance every time she hears thunder or sees lightning.
  
• She doesn't need to be carried anymore and can entertain herself for long periods of time.
  
• Cute things come out of her mouth all the time (like how she tells everyone that the babies in Mommy's belly are named 'O' and 'Fireworks').
  
• She hasn't dropped her nap yet and she sleeps throughout the night.
  
• She's not too old to give a tight hug to her Mama.

pickles for the pregnant girl

My daughter, sick as can be, told me tonight, "Don't worry Mommy. We can get you some more pickles."

lazy Saturday + gorgeous weather = fun family outing

Saturday we spent some time at Salem Lake. I wasn't too keen on the idea of me trying to balance my off-balanced body when getting in a canoe anyway, but apparently there's some rule that only allows them to let 2 people get in a boat no matter how big or small. Anyway, Jonathan took Jules out for her first canoe ride and they seemed to enjoy it. Here are some pictures from our trip. Enjoy!

for my future son-in-law

*Note: This is one of those posts that I pondered greatly before deciding to broadcast it all over the interwebs.  Well, here it is.  You should be thrilled that I am sacrificing my child's embarrassment for your entertainment.  I DO realize that I'm going to have to take this one down when Jules gets to middle school.  Or maybe even as soon as she learns to read.

For a while now I have avoided taking showers with my daughter.  Where it used to be an easy, much-needed time saver to just get her to hop in with me, it had slowly become more of a prodding, poking-fest with mama's boobies.  I decided that 3 may be the cutting point. 

So on Sunday, when we were due at church in 30 minutes and she hadn't had a bath the night before I caved and asked her to take a shower with me.  Jonathan had already gone to work in one of the children's classrooms and she was filthy from playing hard outside the day before.  

We are standing there in the bathroom getting undressed and Julianna looks up at me in all of my pregnant naked glory and says...

wait for it...

"Mama, I like Daddy's hiney better than yours!"