Well, we made it home safely and it's so good to be here. As we were packing up the car to leave the beach Julianna threw a few little fits because she didn't want to go home. I didn't want to come home either, but back to reality has to come sometime, right? And she gave us plenty of entertainment on the way home, but more of that in a minute.
As you can imagine, I had a TON of stuff to get done quickly after being gone all month long. There were a few things that I should have taken care of before I left and I never got them done so I took yesterday and Monday to work on those things. Plus I had the usual grocery shopping and such. Now I'm starting on the laundry and trying to get things put away. I have a stack of bills to pay and no money to pay them with and I have been following up on my job leads which are going nowhere fast. Today I am going to work on filling out a substitute teacher application with the school system.
Fortunately, my sister took Julianna for one night since she had missed seeing her all month so Jonathan and I got to have a date night. (So nice! I slept until almost 9 am!!! Can you believe it?) We ate dinner at a very-overpriced restaurant that we had a gift certificate for and then used our movie certificates and went to see The Mummy, which was HORRIBLE. Seriously, it was one of the worst movies I have seen in a while. As the hubs said afterwards, "You've gotta see a bad one every now and then" so it's OK. It was nice to have the night to ourselves. It helped ease the stress of having a sudden overwhelming amount of things to do and made the transition from vacation a lot easier.
On the agenda for today:
<ul>
<li>laundry and putting clothes away</li>
<li>working on a few blog designs for some people </li>
<li>find out which days of the week I enrolled my daughter in preschool this fall</li>
<li>write a few thank you notes</li>
<li>wrap a present</li>
<li>catch up on work emails and find more job opportunities</li>
</ul>
<strong>What are you doing today?</strong>
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
stories
Chapter 1:
My dad and Julianna quickly developed a routine with each other down here. One of the first few days we were here at the beach they headed to the swimming pool as usual right after Jules woke up from her nap. They played until she was ready to go and then Pap convinced her to head to the ocean to ride some waves for a little bit. They stopped by the potty underneath the building first and then they headed out to the ocean for a while. When they came back upstairs I noticed right away that Julianna was wearing her swimsuit backwards. Dad told me that he had some trouble getting it back on after they went to the bathroom at the pool. She must have worn her bathing suit like that out on the beach too. Luckily she was with her grandfather the whole time so maybe people understood...?
Chapter 2:
I can't remember now what I was doing one day a couple of weeks ago when Julianna looked up at me and exclaimed, "Mama! You not paying attention to me!" That certainly did the trick and she got my attention for sure. I was laughing so hard about her sincere honesty that my side began to hurt.
Chapter 3:
My little girl? She wants to paint billboards when she grows up. We were riding down the road the other day and Jules mentioned something about not being able "to get up there" as she pointed to the billboards. We told her that yes, she was right - the only way to really get up there was if we were the men who painted the billboards. Julianna replied matter-of-factly, "I need to be a painter. I want to go way up high and paint the billboards!" Now when people ask her what she wanted to do when she grew up she can say that she always wanted to be in advertising - she wanted to be a billboard painter. Although it is strange indeed, she has her first life goal.
Chapter 4:
I've been wanting to go to Senor Frogs ever since it opened in Myrtle Beach three years ago and last night I managed to convince my brother and sister-in-law to go have dinner with us there so that I could get my free nachos. We figured that if we went kinda early (around 6, 6:30) that it wouldn't be too crowded and non-kid friendly since we would both be taking youngins. We didn't have to wait too long once we got there and Julianna was pretty excited about it. She kept walking towards the place pointing and yelling, "Look at that frog, Ya'll!"
We got to a table pretty quickly and as the bartender was standing on the bar pouring free shots of tequila straight into people's mouths I was wondering what I'd gotten my child exposed to at the ripe old age of two. Well, it was so loud in there that we couldn't hear the waiter enough to give our order. He was a jerk anyway. My sister-in-law jokingly asked Jules if she wanted to go up on stage with her and dance to which wide-eyed Julianna replied with fascination, "No, thank you." At one point they got everyone to get up and stand on their chairs to do the YMCA. It occurred to me then that Julianna didn't even know what the YWCA was so after a really quick lesson so got the hang of it and went to town. She had a blast! So after a little bit Jules starts saying over and over again, "I need to go up there, Brittany! I need to go up there and dance with you!" We could hardly convince her otherwise. Jonathan finally just started telling her that she wasn't old enough yet.
My daughter, doing the YMCA while standing on chairs at the bar since the early age of 28 months.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05378small.jpg" alt="How to do the YMCA - Part Y" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05377small.jpg" alt="How to do the YMCA - Part C" />
My dad and Julianna quickly developed a routine with each other down here. One of the first few days we were here at the beach they headed to the swimming pool as usual right after Jules woke up from her nap. They played until she was ready to go and then Pap convinced her to head to the ocean to ride some waves for a little bit. They stopped by the potty underneath the building first and then they headed out to the ocean for a while. When they came back upstairs I noticed right away that Julianna was wearing her swimsuit backwards. Dad told me that he had some trouble getting it back on after they went to the bathroom at the pool. She must have worn her bathing suit like that out on the beach too. Luckily she was with her grandfather the whole time so maybe people understood...?
Chapter 2:
I can't remember now what I was doing one day a couple of weeks ago when Julianna looked up at me and exclaimed, "Mama! You not paying attention to me!" That certainly did the trick and she got my attention for sure. I was laughing so hard about her sincere honesty that my side began to hurt.
Chapter 3:
My little girl? She wants to paint billboards when she grows up. We were riding down the road the other day and Jules mentioned something about not being able "to get up there" as she pointed to the billboards. We told her that yes, she was right - the only way to really get up there was if we were the men who painted the billboards. Julianna replied matter-of-factly, "I need to be a painter. I want to go way up high and paint the billboards!" Now when people ask her what she wanted to do when she grew up she can say that she always wanted to be in advertising - she wanted to be a billboard painter. Although it is strange indeed, she has her first life goal.
Chapter 4:
I've been wanting to go to Senor Frogs ever since it opened in Myrtle Beach three years ago and last night I managed to convince my brother and sister-in-law to go have dinner with us there so that I could get my free nachos. We figured that if we went kinda early (around 6, 6:30) that it wouldn't be too crowded and non-kid friendly since we would both be taking youngins. We didn't have to wait too long once we got there and Julianna was pretty excited about it. She kept walking towards the place pointing and yelling, "Look at that frog, Ya'll!"
We got to a table pretty quickly and as the bartender was standing on the bar pouring free shots of tequila straight into people's mouths I was wondering what I'd gotten my child exposed to at the ripe old age of two. Well, it was so loud in there that we couldn't hear the waiter enough to give our order. He was a jerk anyway. My sister-in-law jokingly asked Jules if she wanted to go up on stage with her and dance to which wide-eyed Julianna replied with fascination, "No, thank you." At one point they got everyone to get up and stand on their chairs to do the YMCA. It occurred to me then that Julianna didn't even know what the YWCA was so after a really quick lesson so got the hang of it and went to town. She had a blast! So after a little bit Jules starts saying over and over again, "I need to go up there, Brittany! I need to go up there and dance with you!" We could hardly convince her otherwise. Jonathan finally just started telling her that she wasn't old enough yet.
My daughter, doing the YMCA while standing on chairs at the bar since the early age of 28 months.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05378small.jpg" alt="How to do the YMCA - Part Y" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05377small.jpg" alt="How to do the YMCA - Part C" />
Thursday, July 31, 2008
heaven on in earth
Today Julianna got to do something that she's been longing to do all month. When we first got to the beach and we first rode down Highway 17 and Julianna first laid her eyes on <a href="http://www.planethollywood.com/restaurants_myrtleBeach.htm">Planet Hollywood </a>you would have thought it was Christmas morning for all the squealing that took place in our car. Ever since that day she's exclaimed in her deepest Southern accent, "Look ya'll!" every time we've driven by that place. We've had to promise her over and over again that we'd take her there one day. Of course we all speculated that it was going to be a huge disappointment to her since it's really just a restaurant, but nevertheless she still wanted to go even when we explained that little fact to her. She would call Daddy on the telephone and tell him excitedly that she wanted him to come to the beach and take her to "Planet Earth." And today was her day.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05346small.jpg" alt="We're going to Planet Earth!" />
Actually, when we pulled in the parking lot we saw a parked cop car and a policeman escorting a man wearing a shirt and tie out the back door in handcuffs. So yeah, that was interesting.
Anyway, we first went in the gift shop area since my dad wanted us to buy Jules an overpriced T-shirt. Unfortunately, they don't sell kids T-shirts and the $10 ones were sold out in size Small. Besides, Julianna didn't care much she just wanted to go on in the place.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05350small.jpg" alt="Daddy and Jules checking out the displays inside" />
When we did finally go in the restaurant, Jules was mighty impressed with the ceiling and all of the decorations. She especially liked the airplanes that were flying around and he Power Ranger character. We walked up the big staircase up to the bar area and he was craning her neck the entire time trying to absorb all of the stuff going on around her. She was enthralled.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05353small.jpg" alt="checking out the ceiling" />
After we had seen it all we went outside, back down the huge front staircase and she was just smiling. We got to the bottom of the stairs and she immediately started dancing to the music that was playing over the speakers.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05354small.jpg" alt="leaving the giant earth" />
A fun outing for a two year old and we didn't even spend a dime. Pretty nice.
<object width="400" height="302"> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /> <param name="movie" value="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1439495&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=01AAEA&fullscreen=1" /> <embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1439495&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=01AAEA&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.vimeo.com/1439495?pg=embed&sec=1439495">Untitled</a> from <a href="http://www.vimeo.com/user171829?pg=embed&sec=1439495">c525600</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com?pg=embed&sec=1439495">Vimeo</a>.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05346small.jpg" alt="We're going to Planet Earth!" />
Actually, when we pulled in the parking lot we saw a parked cop car and a policeman escorting a man wearing a shirt and tie out the back door in handcuffs. So yeah, that was interesting.
Anyway, we first went in the gift shop area since my dad wanted us to buy Jules an overpriced T-shirt. Unfortunately, they don't sell kids T-shirts and the $10 ones were sold out in size Small. Besides, Julianna didn't care much she just wanted to go on in the place.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05350small.jpg" alt="Daddy and Jules checking out the displays inside" />
When we did finally go in the restaurant, Jules was mighty impressed with the ceiling and all of the decorations. She especially liked the airplanes that were flying around and he Power Ranger character. We walked up the big staircase up to the bar area and he was craning her neck the entire time trying to absorb all of the stuff going on around her. She was enthralled.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05353small.jpg" alt="checking out the ceiling" />
After we had seen it all we went outside, back down the huge front staircase and she was just smiling. We got to the bottom of the stairs and she immediately started dancing to the music that was playing over the speakers.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05354small.jpg" alt="leaving the giant earth" />
A fun outing for a two year old and we didn't even spend a dime. Pretty nice.
<object width="400" height="302"> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /> <param name="movie" value="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1439495&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=01AAEA&fullscreen=1" /> <embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1439495&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=01AAEA&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.vimeo.com/1439495?pg=embed&sec=1439495">Untitled</a> from <a href="http://www.vimeo.com/user171829?pg=embed&sec=1439495">c525600</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com?pg=embed&sec=1439495">Vimeo</a>.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Han, Han, Bo Bahn, Banana Fanna, Fo Fahn…
Julianna has adopted a few pets over the last few weeks. She has promptly named easch one of them and carried them around for a while.
She got two Little Pet Shop Happy Meal Toys and
Meet Pickle and Pumpkin:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05256.JPG" alt="Pickle and Pumpkin - Happy Meal Toys" />
Then she started carrying around the inflatable alligator. She named him and even invited him to take a bath with her one day. Although that did make it a little difficult to, uh, bathe.
Meet Ali:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05259.JPG" alt="Ali the inflatable alligator" />
Finally, my mom made her three little stuffed birdies a few weeks ago. She immediately adopted them as her own, named each one, and asked if they could take a nap with her.
Mett Han, Bean, and Hay:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05257.JPG" alt="Han, Bean, and Hay - three little birdies" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05258.JPG" alt="Han, Bean, and Hay making a birdie pyramid" />
She got two Little Pet Shop Happy Meal Toys and
Meet Pickle and Pumpkin:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05256.JPG" alt="Pickle and Pumpkin - Happy Meal Toys" />
Then she started carrying around the inflatable alligator. She named him and even invited him to take a bath with her one day. Although that did make it a little difficult to, uh, bathe.
Meet Ali:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05259.JPG" alt="Ali the inflatable alligator" />
Finally, my mom made her three little stuffed birdies a few weeks ago. She immediately adopted them as her own, named each one, and asked if they could take a nap with her.
Mett Han, Bean, and Hay:
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05257.JPG" alt="Han, Bean, and Hay - three little birdies" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05258.JPG" alt="Han, Bean, and Hay making a birdie pyramid" />
Friday, July 25, 2008
my real vacation starts right here
First and foremost I want to say thank you to all the people that have called, emailed, and posted comments over the last few days. They have been so helpful and I can say with certainty that the last few days would not have been so easy without the love and support of you all.
I am doing very well. I went in for surgery yesterday morning at 6:45 and was “home” by 11. Everything was very simple and I was lucky to have my parents to keep Julianna, my husband waiting for me in the waiting room, and a very sweet doctor and nurse to take care of me in the hospital. I have a prescription for pain killers that I really haven’t needed and have already quit taking. Although I can't swim for the next two weeks, I still managed to spend the afternoon with family resting on the beach and seeing a matinee showing of Batman followed by dinner at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. Life is good.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05070small.jpg" alt="Jules wearing her Big Sister shirt" />
In the past 48 hours I have questioned so many things. I have wondered about my 8 ½ week appointment a month ago and how I wanted to push it back from Monday to Friday since I would be at the beach for the following month. If I had done that would we have known a month earlier? I have wondered if my experience with c diff somehow made me unhealthy enough to terminate a pregnancy. I have wondered what to do with the adorable “Big Sister” shirt I bought Julianna two weeks ago.
On the other hand, I have also wondered about the half marathon at the end of April 2009 that my sister has been asking me to commit to run with her and about the weight that I’ve been putting off losing. I have wondered if this is my opportunity. I have wondered if this is God’s plan for my job situation – to not have to go on maternity leave during the middle of the regular school year. And I have wondered about having a winter baby and how that would affect any PPD that I might have after Baby # 2 is born. Maybe I am just meant to have a summer baby. :)
I think the main thing that I have been thinking about is how much harder this would have been if it had been my first pregnancy. For all of you people out there who have gone through that, I am so sorry. I cannot even fathom how difficult that would be.
When we got pregnant with Julianna we didn’t tell anyone before the first trimester was over except our immediate family (and we even waited until 11 weeks to tell them). I was beyond excited about being pregnant, but I also was cautious enough to not want to make a mistake born out of excitement that I may have had to “un-tell” later. I am so glad that I made those decisions.
I am also so very glad that I made the decision to announce this pregnancy early on. If we had followed the same plan and not shared our news this time around until the “safe period,” then Jonathan and I would be suffering alone right now. Instead we have had an enormous amount of love and support from everyone who knows us. I have had people I don’t even know write me to share their experiences with me. I have had family members write me to tell me their personal experience that I had not even been aware of prior to sharing mine. I have had friends show genuine concern for me and it has without a doubt been the greatest blessing.
While I am sad that I won’t have a baby to play with in January, I am so satisfied that I have put this experience behind me and that we’ll be able to try again in the future. Thanks again for loving on me guys. I mean it.
And if anyone makes fun of me for wearing my maternity clothes for the next month or so I’m going to punch them in the face. Just kidding. But really, those things are just so darn comfy. :)
I am doing very well. I went in for surgery yesterday morning at 6:45 and was “home” by 11. Everything was very simple and I was lucky to have my parents to keep Julianna, my husband waiting for me in the waiting room, and a very sweet doctor and nurse to take care of me in the hospital. I have a prescription for pain killers that I really haven’t needed and have already quit taking. Although I can't swim for the next two weeks, I still managed to spend the afternoon with family resting on the beach and seeing a matinee showing of Batman followed by dinner at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. Life is good.
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05070small.jpg" alt="Jules wearing her Big Sister shirt" />
In the past 48 hours I have questioned so many things. I have wondered about my 8 ½ week appointment a month ago and how I wanted to push it back from Monday to Friday since I would be at the beach for the following month. If I had done that would we have known a month earlier? I have wondered if my experience with c diff somehow made me unhealthy enough to terminate a pregnancy. I have wondered what to do with the adorable “Big Sister” shirt I bought Julianna two weeks ago.
On the other hand, I have also wondered about the half marathon at the end of April 2009 that my sister has been asking me to commit to run with her and about the weight that I’ve been putting off losing. I have wondered if this is my opportunity. I have wondered if this is God’s plan for my job situation – to not have to go on maternity leave during the middle of the regular school year. And I have wondered about having a winter baby and how that would affect any PPD that I might have after Baby # 2 is born. Maybe I am just meant to have a summer baby. :)
I think the main thing that I have been thinking about is how much harder this would have been if it had been my first pregnancy. For all of you people out there who have gone through that, I am so sorry. I cannot even fathom how difficult that would be.
When we got pregnant with Julianna we didn’t tell anyone before the first trimester was over except our immediate family (and we even waited until 11 weeks to tell them). I was beyond excited about being pregnant, but I also was cautious enough to not want to make a mistake born out of excitement that I may have had to “un-tell” later. I am so glad that I made those decisions.
I am also so very glad that I made the decision to announce this pregnancy early on. If we had followed the same plan and not shared our news this time around until the “safe period,” then Jonathan and I would be suffering alone right now. Instead we have had an enormous amount of love and support from everyone who knows us. I have had people I don’t even know write me to share their experiences with me. I have had family members write me to tell me their personal experience that I had not even been aware of prior to sharing mine. I have had friends show genuine concern for me and it has without a doubt been the greatest blessing.
While I am sad that I won’t have a baby to play with in January, I am so satisfied that I have put this experience behind me and that we’ll be able to try again in the future. Thanks again for loving on me guys. I mean it.
And if anyone makes fun of me for wearing my maternity clothes for the next month or so I’m going to punch them in the face. Just kidding. But really, those things are just so darn comfy. :)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
i have seen
So far this month we have seen a wide variety of fun things at the beach.
We have seen:
<ul>
<li>fish</li>
<li>dolphins</li>
<li>turtles</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05155small.jpg" alt="a turtle in the lake" />
<li>ducks and swans</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc04976small.jpg" alt="a duck in the lake" />
<li>sailboats</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05187small.jpg" alt="a sailboat in the ocean" />
<li>pelicans almost the size of a jet ski</li>
<li>and my favorite, a first for me to see this - both ends of the same rainbow</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05232small.jpg" alt="left side of the rainbow over the ocean" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05236small.jpg" alt="right side of the rainbow over the ocean" />
</ul>
God is good all the time.
We have seen:
<ul>
<li>fish</li>
<li>dolphins</li>
<li>turtles</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05155small.jpg" alt="a turtle in the lake" />
<li>ducks and swans</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc04976small.jpg" alt="a duck in the lake" />
<li>sailboats</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05187small.jpg" alt="a sailboat in the ocean" />
<li>pelicans almost the size of a jet ski</li>
<li>and my favorite, a first for me to see this - both ends of the same rainbow</li>
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05232small.jpg" alt="left side of the rainbow over the ocean" />
<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dsc05236small.jpg" alt="right side of the rainbow over the ocean" />
</ul>
God is good all the time.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
the verdict
The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks 6 days. To me the irony is that I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks 4 days. Just two days before the baby suppsedly died we saw the heartbeat. I knew right away on the ultrasound today as soon as the baby came into focus. You could see the baby and you could see the heart but no pulsing bright light, no heartbeat. I simply said, "there's no heartbeat" and the ultrasound tech said, "You caught me. I'm going to have to do a vaginal ultrasound." This was, I'm assuming, to get the clearer picture and measure the baby, but it was irritating to me that I was 95% positive that the baby had died and she wouldn't say it. When she left the room for me to get undressed it took her forever to come back and then during the vaginal US the doctor came in to tell me.
It's amazing to me that they can tell when the baby stopped growing exactly. It's also amazing to me that although I had a very strong (bad) feeling about the baby a couple of weeks ago, other than that and the very light spotting I would not have known.
All kinds of thoughts keep going through my head. If I had been home I am convinced that things would be no different. My next OB appointment would have been yesterday and it would have shown the same thing. The only thing that could have helped is if I had had cramps or spotting earlier and had been home I could have had the earlier US. I am angry that the ER could not have done an US and given me answers like this on Friday. I am angry that the doctor's office could not have seen me yesterday and given me answers a day earlier. I am glad to have my little girl.
I have a pre-op appointment tomorrow afternoon and go in for surgery the next morning at 9am. She did give me the option to go home, but after talking with her about what the surgery entails it does not seem important to me to be at home when I should be fully recovered by Thursday afternoon/evening. She stressed that I get the procedure done as early as possible and that is fine with me. Jonathan will be here Thursday night.
Overall, I really am fine so far. I am not worried about what I could have done differently and I am already looking past it to the future. Whether that is good or bad I don't know and don't really care at this point. Call me crazy, but I am mostly just worried about whether Jules will notice that we stop talking about a baby for several months. And of course, wondering about my bridesmaid's dress for my sister's wedding in 3 months.
I'm totally assuming that they'll make me wait a few complete cycles before I start trying again and I question - Will Julianna be 4 years old when she gets a baby brother or sister? Will she be ten? Will she be the only one for us?
Any answer is fine although some are preferable to others. I am truly blessed to have my Doodlebug. Some people are not as lucky.
Thank you all for your prayers.
It's amazing to me that they can tell when the baby stopped growing exactly. It's also amazing to me that although I had a very strong (bad) feeling about the baby a couple of weeks ago, other than that and the very light spotting I would not have known.
All kinds of thoughts keep going through my head. If I had been home I am convinced that things would be no different. My next OB appointment would have been yesterday and it would have shown the same thing. The only thing that could have helped is if I had had cramps or spotting earlier and had been home I could have had the earlier US. I am angry that the ER could not have done an US and given me answers like this on Friday. I am angry that the doctor's office could not have seen me yesterday and given me answers a day earlier. I am glad to have my little girl.
I have a pre-op appointment tomorrow afternoon and go in for surgery the next morning at 9am. She did give me the option to go home, but after talking with her about what the surgery entails it does not seem important to me to be at home when I should be fully recovered by Thursday afternoon/evening. She stressed that I get the procedure done as early as possible and that is fine with me. Jonathan will be here Thursday night.
Overall, I really am fine so far. I am not worried about what I could have done differently and I am already looking past it to the future. Whether that is good or bad I don't know and don't really care at this point. Call me crazy, but I am mostly just worried about whether Jules will notice that we stop talking about a baby for several months. And of course, wondering about my bridesmaid's dress for my sister's wedding in 3 months.
I'm totally assuming that they'll make me wait a few complete cycles before I start trying again and I question - Will Julianna be 4 years old when she gets a baby brother or sister? Will she be ten? Will she be the only one for us?
Any answer is fine although some are preferable to others. I am truly blessed to have my Doodlebug. Some people are not as lucky.
Thank you all for your prayers.
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