another self-improvement goal and stuff

continuing with the theme of assertiveness (or lack thereof) that my family keeps talking about i am going to write this post about my desire to increase my assertiveness. i don’t really want to get into specifics, but this past weekend i really demonstrated a lack of assertiveness. i always get certain ideas in my head about the way things should go and then when they don’t end up going that way i get angry. most of the time i blame that on my husband and usually if not on him then on anyone else that i can find to blame. i call myself a control freak, but really am i? can i really be labeled a control freak when i don’t take control of a situation that i obviously feel strongly enough about to get upset when it doesn’t happen my way?

anyway, i realized this weekend that it’s no one’s fault but my own. i am not assertive by nature and i am really mad at myself for getting mad at everyone else for something that is totally my fault. if i would make the choice to “make” things go my way (or at least take actions that would encourage them to) then i wouldn’t have this problem. instead, i sit on my lazy butt and sulk and complain when they don’t happen like i’d imagined.

SO.

now i have a goal for myself. [wow. i sure do seem to be the “goal-y” type lately, don’t i?] nevertheless, my goal is that i am going to try to be more assertive when i am in this particular kind of situation that i was faced with this past weekend. OR. just not sulk and complain about it.

i need you people to help me with this. you can ask me every once in a while how it is going or just gently remind me to remember my goal. sounds easy, but i can guarantee that it will be hard. i’ll let you know how it goes.