we were at Build-A-Bear tonight for this month's Summit Serve

Jules made an owl named Hoot for the children at Brenner's Children's Hospital tonight.

at the Children's Museum

overheard

Mommy, your belly is getting too big for your shirt.

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If I buy these three friends and put them with the two friends I have at home then I will have, ummmmm, FIVE FRIENDS!

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I'm going to name this dinosaur Vitamin. He is going to get married to Little Lucy.

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spotted at Party City

Dora the Explorer

first it was an obsession with water balloons, now this

We spent the better part of Sunday afternoon watching Julianna and Light play outside in the sprinklers. They had a blast! Julianna, for some reason, kept singing the Mail Song from Blue's Clues and Light would chase the water and jump and bark at it. It was pretty entertaining. Plus, the grass really appreciated the drink of water.

I know it still won't cool off for a while but I am ready for it. It is not fun being pregnant in August. Nevertheless, we have really enjoyed the last few days of the hot summer before school starts back.

Untitled from c525600 on Vimeo.

404

You may have seen that my sister and one of her best friends completed the Ramblin' Rose Triathlon this past weekend. We went to cheer her on and were all really impressed. They both were amazing!

In case you don't know, a triathlon consists of a 250 yard pool swim, a 9 mile bike ride, and a 2 mile run. I have never witnessed a triathlon before and it was definitely cool. There are staggered start times based on your expected performance so that they can get everyone through the pool.

My sister started out as number 404 and she finished as number 178. She was passing people like crazy in the pool and at one point she even stopped swimming because she kept getting kicked by the girl in front of her. Despite falling off her bike and bruising her tailbone considerably a couple of weeks ago she didn't let a single person pass her on the bike ride. She said she struggled for the first mile on the run but still she completed the entire race in 1 hour and 8 minutes. Impressive.

Her strong finish is one of the best I've seen and I've seen her participate in many different race events. It seems that a triathlon might be her thing. I am so proud of her and she has become such an inspiration to me. Just the training that she did to get ready for this event was almost unimaginable to me in this huge body I've been carrying around lately and I hope she is as thrilled with herself as I am with the amount of dedication she put into completing it. Way to go, sis!

Painting Salt Dough Creations

Mark Schultz concert at Hanes Mall

Go Whitney!

Ramblin' Rose Triathalon

Friday night fishin'

at my sister-in-law's house

Fun Friday

Heh. We're at Chuck E Cheese. Nah na nah na boo boo

where a kid can be a kid

more on waiting

I got a note from someone the other day after I posted that wah-wah-wah depressing entryabout being unemployed. It was a rather thoughtful note that encouraged me, but I closed it pretty quickly after reading it mostly because my heart wasn’t ready to accept the emotions I knew it would provoke if I thought about what the person wrote too much. What I mean is, the person sympathetized with me and then gently suggested I make a list of all of the gifts and blessings that I have to be thankful for. While I knew that would be wise, my hardened heart wasn’t ready to “look on the bright side” yet.

Then I spent the better part of the week just generally moping around and being whiney and useless. [Yes, Michelle I am seriously hormonal.] I felt better after just putting my sadness out there, but I still wasn’t ready to move on. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it (and I’ve gotten up enough nerve to re-open the email that the person referenced above sent and actually think about it) I realize what I always knew before and I guess I am now ready to recognize it officially.

I do indeed have many gifts and blessings to be thankful for. I have an extremely dedicated husband who works from sun-up to sun-down for his family. He is an excellent giver, communicator, problem-solver, lover, gentleman, friend, and father. I have quite possibly the most clever three year old on the planet.

(Seriously. She told me today that at her Daddy’s office there are big machines like treadmills that work like levers and put the cabinet parts together to make a cabinet.)

I have a roof over my head that is full of plenty of material possessions, luxuries really, that we have acquired in order to make life easier and more fun. I have friends who care very deeply for me as evidenced in the responses I received on Tuesday. I have the blessing of another baby on the way. I have a healthy, trustworthy body and overall a relatively easy life full of God’s provisions.

In the post I wrote the other day that I kept thinking God had mistaken me for Job when the reality is that Job got his entire family taken from him. His wealth disappeared and he was even robbed of his health. As I told my husband, I really made an unfair comparison because I haven’t lost anything close to what Job had to lose or suffer through. Thanks to God for that simple blessing.

The truth about it is that I feel like I am a very capable teacher and that’s mostly what makes not having a job this school year so hard. Obviously, God has some other plan for this season of my life. For now, I’m just going to enjoy the remaining teacher work days not working, being at home with my girl and being thankful for the things that I do have.

And deleting spam-ish emails from old friends on Facebook who felt the need to offer me a new “business opportunity” after reading my post on Tuesday. Ahhh, the joys of putting life out there for all to see on the interwebs.

Is it Fall yet?

I so want to do this, but unfortunately it's expensive and my child isn't five yet.

Maybe we shall do this one or this one instead.

daily summer worksheets

lately she's taken to doing more than 20 per day

while I'm waiting

I am broken. I am humiliated. I have been beaten down and I'm not sure how much more I can handle. Now I am depressed. I am also resistant to write about it. Here goes anyway.

Today is the second day of school for teachers in our area and in the last 48 hours I have essentially had two job interviews that have fallen through because the positions have been filled by the county. I feel like an idiot for being optimistic about one of them in particular and putting false hope in a friend that works at the school when ultimately I know that the hiring is up to the county and the individual school principals. Futhermore, I am angry at the school system for assigning "surplus employees" to positions that they have advertised to the general public first and I am feeling naive that I ever thought a teacher would have trouble finding a job.

I am sick of applying for jobs. I am so sick of hearing about school starting and not having a position for myself. I am unjustifiably (is that a word?) annoyed at people's Facebook status' about how exhausted they are at all the work they have to do in their classrooms to get ready for school. When I hear the stupid school bus come through the neighborhood on practice routes I get irritated. Today when I picked up the 2009-2010 public school student handbook out of my driveway I was nothing but sad.

I am tired of explaining to people that yes, once again school is about to begin and I don't know what I will be doing, for myself or my child. I am regretting counting on always being able to work in my chosen profession and I am not willing to settle for a job that pays less than $12/hour when I have a college degree and ten years of experience. Am I stupid?

I am embarrassed and I feel like such a loser. What must people think of me? I feel like I've let my family down. I'm beginning to think very little of myself. Either that or I'm beginning to think God thinks I'm Job.

So many people mention teaching jobs to me and it's so obvious that they don't understand how the system works. You aren't just certified to teach everything and you can't expect in this economy that if someone has a teaching license then they would even be considered for every teaching position that is open. People are fighting for teaching jobs. Over the last year or so there have been plenty of people applying for and accepting teaching positions that never desired becoming an educator. They look at it as a guaranteed job in a time when there's not much else and sadly I have learned that it's not.

I should be happy. This should be a good time in my life but instead it's been stress-filled and anxiety-ridden. My pregnancy hormones are already raging and now they are exaggerated more. I snap at everyone and cry at the drop of a hat. My husband is seriously getting sick of my daily crying spells and he's not even here except part of the day.

Whine, whine, whine. I feel better already though. Thanks for letting me get it out.

While I'm Waiting

John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

why i missed my daughter so much this weekend

princess dolls doing push-ups

where does the time go?

Perhaps I've been a little absent from blogging this week. I don't have any really good excuses, but a bunch of little lame ones. Hope I haven't been missed too much.

Monday I had my three hour glucose tolerance test which - oh my goodness - was disgusting. Much, much worse than the one hour test. Plus I had to be stuck for blood draws four times. The last time she couldn't get blood to come so she tried a different spot, but the first four sticks were in the same spot. Ouch!

I also had to get the rhogam shot (which evidently they don't even call the rhogam shot anymore). That is one pain-in-the-butt (literally) shot. I am glad that I won't have to do it again until I'm in the hospital. It's the dang band-aid that bothers me the most anyway.

By Tuesday at closing time when the doctor's office hadn't called me to let me know the results of the bloodwork I called them to find out myself. Turns out everything was normal. Hip hip hooray! Praise God!

You all know I didn't want to have to try avoiding KK lemon-filled doughnuts for the next ten weeks.

Tuesday we went to the last free kids movie of the summer, The Tale of Desperaux. I also spent quite a bit of time working in the nursery and trying to clean out some of the junk that we've been storing in there over the past year or so. It's taken much more time than I anticipated. I thought I was a lot closer to being done than I am. At least I'm making progress. Once I get everything out of there that doesn't belong I can start washing baby clothes and getting the closet organized. It's a fun, but tedious process.

My dear cousin is actually throwing a baby shower for me on Sunday. Is that weird? Honestly? Do you think it's tacky to have a second baby shower? I feel so badly about her doing it and for the guests who've already gotten me baby stuff once. It is a diaper and dinner shower though so I am definitely pretty excited about it. It will be a huge help to have diapers already stocked up for a long, long time and dinners or gift cards ready as well.

Wednesday and Thursday I spent running around town doing various unnecessary things. I've been to Target more times this week than I care to admit. Plus, Julianna and I wanted to decorate T-shirts so that required visits to two craft stores and of course we also went by the library twice this week.

I have had one disappointment and a few good leads on jobs this week as well. Monday I found out that the one job that I really, really wanted in my system (actually at the elementary school right down the street) was filled. However, with the passing of the NC state budget at the end of last week several systems were able to post new job listings. I have chased several down that were filled rather quickly and I have possible leads for a few others that are not yet filled.

I can't begin to explain how nervous I am about that fact that teachers are going back to work in most counties early next week and I still don't have any solid leads, but I am trusting that God still has a plan for my life even if I can't see it.

I have already registered to take NC's teaching certification exam to extend my certification from just grades 6-12 to all grades. That test will be September 12th so I definitely have some prepping to do for that. I am also strongly considering taking the GRE shortly after that and enrolling in a masters degree program.

Let's see... what else has been going on? Oh yeah. I have made plans to get Julianna in a new preschool for this year and I have also registered her for a dance/tumbling class once a week. She has been talking about school a lot lately and I know that she is excited. She told me a week or so ago that she missed the tree named Lucy at her school. It was so sweet.

Jonathan and I have been in desparate need of some quiet time together so he arranged to ship Julianna off to his mom's house for a few nights while we spend the weekend at a fabulous fancy schmancy hotel nearby. We're having a nice dinner out one night and probably going to go see The Time Traveler's Wife on Saturday. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! This will be the last big fling for a while for us and the baby is due right at our anniversary so this weekend will sort of be a celebration of the last seven years. I'll try to post some pictures or something to rub it in. You know, in all the spare kid-free time I'll have this weekend. Heh.

Have a great Friday everyone!

guess where we are

for the second time this week.... and it's only Wednesday

Ellie/Josh update

I had an OB appointment on Wednesday and my parents and sister were kind enough to take Julianna to Chapel Hill to a few shows at the Planetarium. (Don't worry. We'd given Jules specific instructions before she left to make the Wolfpack sign and howl plenty whenever she saw or heard the word "Tarheel.") I knew the appointment was going to be a little on the long side since I had to do the one hour glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes so it worked out well for them to have Jules for the day.

Well, we had another ultrasound scheduled since last month the baby was measuring a little on the big side so after straightening out some confusion with the u/s techs and nurses we got to go back and do the scan.

It's always nice to get another peek at the little babe who was still measuring a little big at about 30w2d (supposed to be 28w6d) and 3.5 pounds (average for that gestational age is 2.5 pounds). It's not anything to worry too much about now, just monitor.

My blood pressure was back to a nice normal number (120/70) and I'd only gained 2 pounds in the last four weeks so that was great. I have about 10.5 weeks left now and I am hoping to not go over 40 pounds total weight gain. I think I can do it but it's going to be difficult. I've already gained around 28 I think.

I spoke with a nurse on Thursday who called to tell me that my glucose test score was 142 and their cutoff is 140 so now I have to go back on Monday to do the three hour glucose test. That means I'll have to arrange yet another babysitter which is frustrating because I feel like I keep having to inconvenience other people, but anyway, she said that I'd have to drink the glucose stuff and then have my blood drawn every hour for three hours afterwards. I won't be able to leave the waiting room in between draws and I can't eat or drink anything besides water from midnight on the night before.

I'm not looking forward to it and I'm hoping that everything comes back OK with this test. The nurse acted like this time it would probably be fine since my results were only 2 points over the limit, but she said I still had to come in and do it because I was over their cutoff number.

I also have to get the darn Rhogam shot that they forgot to give me on Wednesday because of my O negative blood type.

Sometimes I think pregnancy can be such a hassle and then I realize how easy I have it compared to others who've had much greater complications during their pregnancies.

I am still thanking God regularly for the blessing of this baby and praying for it's health. I know that we are truly fortunate.

playing princess Wii with daddy

my daughter's idea of fashion - I guess it could be worse

test

testing sending pictures from my phone

yep, Mom of the Year Award here I come

We ran to Wal-Mart Saturday night to pick up something pretty quickly and as we were walking to the car it looked like a thunderstorm was approaching and the sky was covered in dark clouds. I pointed up to one particular cloud and told Julianna that it looked like a mermaid tail. As she looked up I opened the car door right smack into her face. Way to go, Mom! Now she has a nice bruise under her left eye.

When we stopped at McDonald's halfway home from the beach the next day we saw a little girl with a bandage under her eye. Jules pointed it out to me and said something like, "Mother, look! That girl's eye is bleeding!" I replied, "I see it. It's not bleeding though it does look like she got hurt pretty bad. What do you think happened to her?" Julianna answered right away, "I think her Mother did it."

Gee. Thanks kid.