vent

I know I complain a lot.  I wish I could change that about myself, but it's awfully hard.  I am trying to put these complaints in writing here on my bloggity blog instead of in my family's ears since they are tired of hearing me. 

I think all the sickness around here is finally wearing me down.  I mean, I managed to stay upbeat and fairly positive through the couple of completely sleepless nights but now that Josh has been on antibiotics for five days and still isn't completely back to normal I am starting to get beyond discouraged.  He's waking up two or three times a night still and clearly not feeling completely well yet.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to take him back in and get his ears checked again.  They may have to put him on a stronger antibiotic.

In the beginning it was easy to just concentrate on getting him well above all other things.  Now after a month of doctor's visits, a fussy baby, neglected daughter, and $200 in co-pays unfortunately my sympathy is starting to run out as much as I don't want it to.  My patience as I wait for things to improve is wearing thin. 

And it's not just the sickness.  I feel like life is moving at break-neck speed.  It never stops or even slows down.  I knew that once we had two kids that I would hardly see my husband and I felt prepared for that.  However, I hardly suspected that by almost four months postpartum I would still feel like I hardly speak to him.

We both get up and go, go, go all day long.  We get in bed late and exhausted and get crappy sleep all to do it all over again the next day.  No rest for the weary.

If we make spending time with each other a priority then something else gets neglected and it's hard to find a balance.  I feel like I've done a very good job this time around with making the baby a priority and taking good care of myself - at least a better job than I did when Jules was born.  It just stinks that it's taking a toll on so many other things.

It has to get easier before they turn 18, doesn't it?

I think I am going to try staying off of the computer each day after 5pm.  I'll still have my phone to check emails, etc but I won't get caught up wasting time on the web.  Maybe then I can make dinner, clean, get ready for the next day, help put the kids to bed, and spend a little time with my husband before collapsing into bed. 


Yeah.  So I just wrote all that and then I read this.  Emily always writes what I want to say with much more elegance.  Darn her.