sex after miscarriage

I have to say that one of the hardest things about dealing with this miscarriage was coping with the doctor’s order to not have sex for four weeks post-surgery. Ordinarily, this would only be minimally difficult. However, you probably remember that I spent 2.5 weeks at the beach without my husband prior to the surgery. When you add those two together you get SIX AND A HALF WEEKS, PEOPLE! That’s six and a half long, long weeks without sex.

Six and a half weeks is the time it takes for you to be able to take a puppy away from his mother. Six and a half weeks is the time it takes to drive from NC to California AND BACK no less than FOUR TIMES. It’s the time it takes to lose 15 - 20 pounds. You can reverse osteoporosis in six and a half weeks. And it’s the amount of time you need to get an online master’s degree. (I’m kidding about that last one.)

But in just six weeks you can have sex post-partum. That’s after delivering a real live baby that you get to see and hold afterwards. A baby the size of a small watermelon. I couldn’t have sex in more weeks than that and I didn’t even <em>really </em>deliver a baby. At least it wasn’t a real, live baby <em>then</em>. And it certainly wasn’t the size of any melon I’ve seen. It was probably only the size of a fig. And I definitely didn’t get to see it or hold it afterwards. :(

And I didn’t even WANT to have sex at six weeks post-partum after Julianna!

But I get it. My cervix was fully dilated. With any teensy-tiny opening bacteria can get in and cause a nasty infection. “Nothing in the vagina!” the doctor told me at every chance she got. She even told my husband in the hospital waiting room that morning. Yes, six and a half weeks, we got it.

But no sex. For Six Point Five Weeks. Did I mention that? It just SUCKS.

My poor husband.

So I just wanted to point all of that out to those of you who may not know about sex after miscarriage. I apologize to those members of my family who are reading this. I apologize to anyone who finds this the least bit crass. I just wanted to whine and complain a little about the reality of my horrible, unfair situation on this very fine morning. And it is indeed a very fine morning this morning. Honey, you better come home early tonight.