thankful

After a truly exhausting day I am thankful for the Dove chocolates hidden in the side pockets of our glider.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

All I Want For Christmas

Jules read her Christmas list to Santa this morning.  Josh was not very interested in Santa, but was absolutely precious in his Christmas outfit!

one month

Dear Josh,

Oh my.  You are already one month old.  The time has flown by and I have really cherished this first month with you.  Things have been so different than they were with your sister.  In my experience, it has been a lot easier to care for a baby the second time around and it is truly a joy to take care of you.  Maybe that's because I had a better idea of what to expect with you, but I really feel like I can savor these early weeks with you because I already knew about the bad parts and because I know that this will be the last little baby I have.  I'm finding it easier to be much more laid back with you and we just go with the flow.  Plus, I'm pretty certain that having you has made me love your sister even more although I never thought it possible.

I can already see changes in you despite the fact that it has only been a few short weeks since you were born.  Your face looks different.  Your vision has improved and you make eye contact with us now.  You will find a face or catch sight of a moving hand and follow it back and forth from left to right.  I'm pretty sure that you're already smiling in response to people now especially when we goo goo at you.  You've grown so much and gotten so much stronger.  You lift your head high off my shoulder and you push off with your hands.  You even amaze me with the strength you're developing in your legs already.

When we first came home from the hospital my milk had just come in and we had a rough first night.  You were gassy and fussy and we didn't sleep all that much at a time.  Luckily, after that we quickly fell into a routine with you waking to eat every two hours and gradually you have gotten to the point where you'll sleep from about ten until two or three which mommy loves.  One night you were so tired from an exhausting day without much sleep that you made it all the way until 4:30 am.  It makes such a difference when I only have to get up one time to feed you each night and I know that it will only get better.

You haven't had a drop of formula since that first 36 hours in the NICU and you breasfeed like a champ which makes mommy really proud.  Lately Julianna, who has never cared for baby dolls much, has taken to carrying around a baby she likes to call Yoda.  She feeds him from a bottle she holds up to her chest and "fills with milk" and it is the sweetest thing.  She even says she gets up to feed him in the middle of the night.  All of this is inspired by you Josh.

So Daddy has started calling you Tud and Jules immediately started telling people about her brother Joshy after she first saw you.  You see, you had to wait to meet everyone except for Daddy and I after we left the hospital because of the strict rules in the NICU.  But I'm pretty sure everyone loved you the instant they laid eyes on you.  You have the most beautiful head of dark brown hair and the sweetest deep blue eyes.  I'm finding that it's hard not to keep comparing you to your sister.  Your feet are much smaller and your fingers and legs are much shorter even though you weighed almost a pound more than her at birth.  You burp and poot just like a boy but thankfully you don't spit up half as much as Julianna did.  You go back to the doctor in a month and I am already anxious to see how much you weigh since I can tell that you are gaining quite a bit.

There are so many blessings that I have realized concerning your birth.  I really wallowed in self pity after my miscarriage last year when I realized that my children wouldn't be any closer than four grades apart in school.  It has turned out to be really wonderful to have such a mature 3.5 year old as your older sister.  She is so gentle with you and she helps out quite a bit when I need her to.  Plus, she's in preschool five days a week and takes dance on Tuesdays so she gets those extra doses of attention.  We wouldn't have any of that with a two year old and for that I am thankful.

Also, I thought it would be awful having a baby at the end of October (and it still may be hard to have a baby in the winter) but so far it's been great.  You'll be a good age at Christmas and you'll be five weeks at Thanksgiving so Daddy will have a little extra time off to spend with you and Jules.  I'll hopefully be all set to go back to work after the first of the year.  The timing was just... right.

Baby Joshua, it is so obvious to me now that you were a part of God's perfect plan for our family and I am so very thankful for you.  We adore you.  At only one month old you've already fallen into a comfortable rhythm in our house and you are the perfect completion to our family.

Love you baby.
Mama

sweet swinging baby

He finally decided he liked the swing. This is the first time he's been in it and not screamed the whole time.

Joshua's birth story

written by Jonathan

edited by Courtney

Monday 10/19 and Tuesday 10/20, Courtney told me on my way home from work that she wasn't feeling too good and that she may be in labor. Both nights the contractions went away later in the evening. On Wednesday 10/21, I had a big day with a tour group of 94 people coming to Marsh. Needless to say, I was a little tired when leaving work around 5:15 pm. When Courtney told me again, that she hadn't felt good all day and that her contractions were about 8 minutes apart and regular since 2:30 pm (for three hours), I gave it little thought. I get home, we eat dinner, and Courtney's parents take off for church. 

By now (around 6:30 pm) the contractions are about 5 minutes apart and still regular. Fairly quickly, they become 2-3 minutes apart so we decide to go to the hospital and get checked out. We dropped Jules off at Courtney's sister's house on the way to the hospital and get there around 7:45 pm. The lady at the desk told us it would be a little bit before we could get into a triage booth, but they ended up calling us back by 8 pm. 

The nurse checked and Courtney was 5 cm dilated and having contractions steadily every 2 minutes. So they prepare a room for us. As the good Lord would have it, Dr. S was on call (Courtney's preferred OB). She came by around 10:30 pm and broke Courtney's water. She saw some meconium in the water and decided to have the pediatric team come in to be ready to check the baby out when it was born. She also told us that she would not be in a hurry to get him crying in order to have the chance to suck as much fluid out of his mouth as possible. 

Labor came on pretty quickly and Courtney was 7 cm dilated and was doing great at managing the pain but by 11:30 pm, it was getting tough. Around midnight, the nurse checked her and she had progressed to 8 cm dilated.  She decided to get an epidural since she felt it had taken so long to go from 7 to 8 cm. The nurse had asked her earlier if she'd like stadol but she declined.  When she decided to get the epidural we told the nurse and of course, it took them a while to get there. 

By 12:30, I pushed the button to call the nurse.  They answer and while I'm asking to see our nurse, Courtney blurts out "I NEED STADOL." The nurse comes in, checks her, and because she's 8 cm dilated she told us that the drug would go straight to the baby so she couldn't give it to her. She said there were two people in front of us and two doctors working on the epidural before they'd come to our room. 

At this point, Courtney was having the strong desire to push. The nurse told her that she couldn't push or she would tear her cervix. Courtney kept explaining over and over again the need to push.  The doctors came in and gave her drugs around 1 am, but as the anesthesiologist asked what she felt Courtney said she still felt strong contractions and a huge urge to push.  She kept telling them that it wasn't working, so the doctor did some things to get her hooked up quicker. 

Finally, he got the meds to work and the nurse checked and Courtney had progressed from 8 to 10 cm while they were trying to administer the epidural.  Then Courtney got to rest some so we both took it easy for about 45 minutes. 

At 2:05 am the doctor came back in and we started pushing.  Immediately I saw a little head peeking through with plenty of hair. With the second push there was not much change, but on the third push the head came out. Then we stopped and waited for another contraction.  Finally, with the fourth push he was out at 2:13 am on the second contraction. 

Of course, he started crying too quickly and was grunting as opposed to screaming (indicating fluid in the lungs). Dr. S suctioned his mouth and nose and the pediatric team wisked him away to their table.  They started sticking a vacuum tube down his throat and nose and sucking out fluid. 

His apgar scores were 8 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes. The team left and Courtney was able  to hold him.  We were able to have Nanna, Mamaw, and Memama come in to see him for just a minute. He was still grunting so they took him to NICU for testing that was supposed to last four hours. At 4 am, we were moved downstairs to a mother-baby room. Around 5 am I went to check on him in the NICU and was told he wouldn't be done until 8ish. Aunt Whitney came by around 7:30 am and she and I went to see him on the way out but no one was allowed in the NICU except for me and Court. 

It was then that the nurse had a doctor come talk to me. He told me that Josh's blood test showed a "marker" that could mean infection and they would be giving him precautionary antibiotics for 48 hours. This meant no family, no in-room stays for 48 hours while they kept him in the NICU. Therefore, we made a trip down the hall every 3 hours to feed him. 

The first two trips, I took Courtney in a wheel chair since it was a good distance to walk. From then on, she could walk it on her own. Josh did great and continued to improve. Courtney felt 100% within 24 hours.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise to not have a lot of company and to let baby bond with mother while we were in the hospital. Breastfeeding was easier, and things just seemed to click. 

Saturday morning 10/24, we got word that there was no infection and Josh would be released as soon as we could get a hearing screening done and when his circumcision was complete. Courtney was discharged at 11:30 am and Josh was finished at 12:15. The nurse wanted to wait until he peed after the circumcision before letting us go. We waited and waited, anxious to get home and introduce him to Jules.  At 2:30 pm, the doctor felt we'd had enough waiting and we were discharged to bring Josh home. It was a great experience and God has once again poured out so many blessings on my family.

Joshua William Tucker

Born 10/22 2:13am

9lbs 3.5ozs. 21" long

i adore this kiddo

he only woke up at 3:30 and 7:00 last night and he's not even 4 weeks old yet

i didn't think it was possible

But I think having Joshua has made me love Julianna more.