random musings

big j rushed home from a big thing at work last night to help put little j to bed and wash bottles and dishes. sometimes i am so in love with him that i think i could explode. he can be so dedicated when he wants to be and i feel bad that he has to work so hard all of the time. i wish that he could have some time off to catch up too.

i can’t get into a routine with work yet and it’s driving me crazy. i spend my mornings walking around the house doing random bits and pieces of tidying up and rearranging. i set out the next outfit and burp cloth or pack up the diaper bag for the next outing. i never really get anything done because I’m so worried about having everything organized. i need to spend my mornings doing school work so that when i get home at night i don’t feel so overwhelmed by all that i have to do (i’m sure that would help me sleep better), but i just can’t help it. during any one of little j’s naps i feel like i have to be frantically running around doing house stuff and baby stuff and can’t ever focus on my work. i know that with time i will get into a groove and everything will be hunky dory but for now it is tough. any tips for me?

also, why is it that when you have a child your parents delight in the fact that their grandchild will once be a rebellious, smarty pants some day? is it not pathetic that we all find delight in people getting what they once dished out? and why do grandparents say things like, “i can’t wait until she turns around and wags her finger at her mom and says, ‘NO!’”

i don’t want her to learn how to talk! she’ll say things like, “mean mommy!” and “no night, night!” for now I am comfortable with “ohhhhhhhh ppppfffftttttt” and “aagggghhhhh ow whooo.” she’s growing up too fast!

by the way… what is up with those $99 infant halloween costumes? people really buy these? life is sad.

and furthermore, the fact that i haven’t been able to catch up on my blog reading since what seems like the dawn of man (two weeks ago when I started back to work) is unnecessarily adding to my inappropriate stress level and causing me to break out with small red bumps all over my back, feet, and hands. [i’m totally kidding about that last part, but seriously. i. am. almost. going. through. withdrawal. from the lack of quality internet time.] now i must get some work done.