Reasons Why You Should Never Marry a Runner
- They might consider pet and/or baby names based on where they ran their first marathon. Doesn't Raleigh sound like a cute little kitty (and/or little girl) name?
- They're too competitive, sometimes just with themselves and unfortunately sometimes in the plank challenge you do together. Right, booger?
- They can't drink or eat at strange places on Friday nights. Good thing my husband likes Jersey Mike's! We eat it every Friday night during marathon training.
- During peak training season they always go to bed early. Friday after work: "Goodnight, babe! See you Saturday afternoon!"
- You have to listen to them talk about poop entirely too much. This picture is one Jonathan actually saw on Instagram and tagged me in it.
- You'll do a lot of babysitting. I mean A LOT. I ran over 255 hours in 2014 and during that time my kids were either with my mom or my husband. That's a whole lot of Go Fish, folks.
- You'll feel a little bit guilty if you don't spend an occasional weekend morning standing on the side of the road holding a ridiculous sign.
- You'll have to research running routes and hotel gyms before every trip together. Like when we went to Mexico and I made Jonathan run ten miles on a treadmill.
- You'll have no other choice than putting up with their moods when they're injured or otherwise missing a run. When Jonathan looks at me and solemnly says, "You need to go for a run," that's when I know I must be in some kind of mood.
- They obsessively check the weather forecast on Fridays.
And the number one reason why you should never marry a runner is because
- they'll try to convert you and you'll find yourself signing up for 24 hour relays where you get no sleep, run twelve and a half miles or so, have to smell each other's tired and stinky feet, pack up a whole car load of stuff, drive two hours, feel like you're running through a scene of The Blair Witch Project, lay on the ground with ear plugs so you don't hear the crazy people talking and the trains going by, and then get up to go to work the next day.
And then they'll want you to do it again next year.
Anything you want to add? (Anyone except my husband may answer. Ha!)
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