I had a pretty good weekend. It was supposed to be a kinda slow one but as usual, it was pretty full. We went bowling with the Sunday School class on Saturday night and I bowled a 127 even with my big belly and lack of balance. Jonathan on the other hand was the strike king. I also spent a good bit of time getting everything done for Amanda's shower, but at least that is over and done with now and I think it went OK.
Tonight we have childbirth class again. There are only two more weeks of it and next week we get the highly anticipated tour. :) I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and Jonathan has his eye surgery on Friday. Luckily I only have to work at Curves two days this week. I am getting very tired of working there.
I was up 26 pounds this morning. I had to start eating bananas again since my leg cramps starting coming back. My friends indigestion and heartburn have also gotten worse. Some days eight weeks (or 59 days) seems manageable and other days that seems way too long! Time in general just goes by slowly sometimes and quickly during others. In some ways that is a good thing, but in other ways it really stinks that we can't control the speed of time!
Yesterday in church we did our usual split into groups thing and of course my group gets the story of Abraham and Isaac to discuss. The point of the lesson was how important it is to have faith in God, but one of the questions was, "could you sacrifice your only child after you'd waited 20some years for it just because God told you to?" We all immediately said, "No!" but it did make me think about being obedient even when it seems impossible. That is something that I am having a hard time with right now. I have been thinking a lot about the fairness of life and being obedient to God when it is so extremely difficult.
The following is part of an article that I just read about depending on God. I thought it was certainly worth sharing and since it made me realize how little I have depended on God over the last year or so I wanted to post it here in hopes that I would revisit it many times in the future.
T Thank God for the things He has done in your past. Go back as far as you need to. Begin to chart His track record in your life. Ask Him to remind you of times past when He was there for you. Then find something in your life today to be grateful for. Living thankfully is God’s will for your life.
R Repent…say you are sorry to God for intentionally allowing things in your heart and your life that you know would disappoint Him. Having a rebellious heart toward God’s ways in one area of your life can cause your prayers to hit the ceiling in other areas. Take an inward look and ask for God’s help in changing attitudes, thoughts, motives and actions that need a correction.
U Unify broken relationships. Whether you have offended someone or have been offended, God leaves the ball in your park to seek restoration. If restoration isn’t possible give God the broken pieces and ask Him to root resentment out of your heart. Bringing peace to fractured relationships brings blessing.
S Share the journey. When times are tough and trust wears thin, find a friend to pray with you and for you. Tell someone your struggle and ask her to walk with you awhile on the road of life. Getting help in our weakness leads to healing and to power in praying.
T Take time to spend with God. If your heart is dry set aside some time to listen to praise music and use the words of the songs as prayers from your heart. Till up the ground that has become hard from the worries of life. Learn to spend time in the presence of the Lord and find refreshing beyond what you can imagine.
Depend on God in new ways today. Trust Him… even in the silence and in the dark. The wisdom of depending on God will bring results in your life that will surprise you. “My God, in whom I trust”… with expectation!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
faith
So I called in sick to Curves yesterday which I guess was a good thing. I feel better this morning but I think it's just because I slept better. I still woke up a lot, but at least I was able to go back to sleep. I also took a one hour nap when I got home from school. I know that a lot of it is stress and worry, but I also know that it can't be this way forever. There is a quote on a bulletin board that we pass each Sunday that we are at church that says, "The God of the mountain is still the God of the valley."
Psalm 31:9-16 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress. My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning. My strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. I am the utter contempt of my neighbors. I am a dread to my friends-- those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead. I hear the slander of many. There is terror on every side. They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O LORD. I say, "You are my God.“ My times are in your hands. Deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love.
I read soemwhere last night that God often doesn't answer our prayers because our lack of faith hinders Him from doing so. When I am dead and gone I want to be remembered as one who had great faith. Sometimes when something good happens I think, "I can't believe my luck!" when really I want to start thinking differently. I want to think, "I knew that with God all things were possible." I don't want to doubt that good things will happen because "they never do" but I want to expect that they will happen because I am depending on God. I hope that Jonathan and I teach our children how to have great faith and always be dependent on God.
Yesterday when I took a nap, Simon curled up on the body pillow right up against my belly and slept in a ball. He started purring so loudly. I wondered if Julianna could hear his purrs. She was certainly kicking at him up against her. :)
I put the shower gifts away last night from the shower here at school on Monday. When I was putting that stuff away I again realized how much stuff I have to do before she is born. I have lots of clothes to wash and bedding and stuff. Oh well. I'll get it done sometime.
Psalm 31:9-16 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress. My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning. My strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. I am the utter contempt of my neighbors. I am a dread to my friends-- those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead. I hear the slander of many. There is terror on every side. They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O LORD. I say, "You are my God.“ My times are in your hands. Deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love.
I read soemwhere last night that God often doesn't answer our prayers because our lack of faith hinders Him from doing so. When I am dead and gone I want to be remembered as one who had great faith. Sometimes when something good happens I think, "I can't believe my luck!" when really I want to start thinking differently. I want to think, "I knew that with God all things were possible." I don't want to doubt that good things will happen because "they never do" but I want to expect that they will happen because I am depending on God. I hope that Jonathan and I teach our children how to have great faith and always be dependent on God.
Yesterday when I took a nap, Simon curled up on the body pillow right up against my belly and slept in a ball. He started purring so loudly. I wondered if Julianna could hear his purrs. She was certainly kicking at him up against her. :)
I put the shower gifts away last night from the shower here at school on Monday. When I was putting that stuff away I again realized how much stuff I have to do before she is born. I have lots of clothes to wash and bedding and stuff. Oh well. I'll get it done sometime.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I feel awful. I think I am going to call the docto...
I feel awful. I think I am going to call the doctor today and see if I can take any cold medicine. I have lots of drainage and a very runny nose. I also ache all over but I don't know if that's from the pregnancy or from a cold. I'm sure some good sleep would help too but it's hard to sleep when you feel all that stuff running in your head.
Well, my principal just came by to say that they've now put her on the task of locating a long term sub for my maternity leave. I guess that's a good thing. She came by to ask how my lesson plans were coming and to find out "how much of a 'computer person' they needed to be." What a question! Oh well, at least her observation notes of me from yesterday were very positive.
There are only 36 work days left between now and spring break and that is seeming manageable. My principal also asked what my intentions were about coming back at the end of the school year. I politely told her that I'd see her in August. :) At this point I'm tired of worrying about whether or not they can make me part time next school year or not. I know that there's no sense in thinking about it because they won't start planning until this year is over.
Mom and Dad bought some children's books the other day and I was looking through some of them this morning as I put them up. I can't wait to be able to read them to Julianna. Maybe she will be a reader when she grows up...
Well, my principal just came by to say that they've now put her on the task of locating a long term sub for my maternity leave. I guess that's a good thing. She came by to ask how my lesson plans were coming and to find out "how much of a 'computer person' they needed to be." What a question! Oh well, at least her observation notes of me from yesterday were very positive.
There are only 36 work days left between now and spring break and that is seeming manageable. My principal also asked what my intentions were about coming back at the end of the school year. I politely told her that I'd see her in August. :) At this point I'm tired of worrying about whether or not they can make me part time next school year or not. I know that there's no sense in thinking about it because they won't start planning until this year is over.
Mom and Dad bought some children's books the other day and I was looking through some of them this morning as I put them up. I can't wait to be able to read them to Julianna. Maybe she will be a reader when she grows up...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
quick prayer
I have a song in my head this morning. I don't know why I woke up humming it so I looked up the words. It's by Robert Robinson, written in 1758. Here are a couple of verses...
My prayer today is that God's grace and mercy would never cease and that it would overflow on my family. That we would be bound to Him and not tempted to wander as we so often are.
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
My prayer today is that God's grace and mercy would never cease and that it would overflow on my family. That we would be bound to Him and not tempted to wander as we so often are.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
trying for a 30 pound gain (only)
It's been a very rough week/weekend, but I slept pretty good last night and I am very glad. I am thankful for little things like that. We got our new couch and it looks wonderful! It is so big and comfy and I love it! We are fortunate to be able to get new things.
Yesterday was the baby shower at school which was a lot of fun of course. I got a few things off of our registry and a very nice gift card to Babies R Us to put toward our glider. Now I think we'll only owe about $320 on it. I didn't take any pictures at the shower - sorry to disappoint. I did get some cute outfits for Julianna and lots of practical things like burp cloths, pacifiers, and diapers. Probably the gifts that I was most excited about were the ones that we really needed like the safety gate, the baby monitor, and baby medicine. Gosh babies are expensive!
Last night we had class at the hospital again. It was OK. I was just too tired to comprehend a lot of the stuff, but it was mostly about epidurals and meeting the pediatricians in the area. They talked for a while and then we had a question and answer session. We also watched a video on epidurals. I'm still not sure whether I will have one or not. I'll have to wait and see what I think then, but she did say that out of the 6500 or so births at Forsyth Hospial last year about 80% of people had the epidural. That number sure is high! The lady in the video that had a natural child birth said that she had always thought that she would have the epidural and then during the contractions she was doing so well and her husband was helping her manage the pain so well that she started thinking, "maybe I can do this without the pain medicine" and she asked not to have the epidural. Then afterwards she said how intense the pain was that she didn't think she could describe it. That it was nothing like anything she'd ever experienced. That made me a little scared. Anyway, a couple of things that I learned from the doctors that were there include random things like how to prevent SIDS and it was also obvious that they all supported breast feeding, but in almost all cases/questions they kept saying things like "it's a personal decision for you and your family" which was to be expected. I think the main thing I learned is that parenting is going to be a big job, but there are lots of people to help.
I am still only up around 25 - 25.5 pounds total which makes me happy. I have nine weeks left and I keep hearing how you gain most of the weight at the end. I am hoping to just keep it under 30 and maybe I can.
Yesterday was the baby shower at school which was a lot of fun of course. I got a few things off of our registry and a very nice gift card to Babies R Us to put toward our glider. Now I think we'll only owe about $320 on it. I didn't take any pictures at the shower - sorry to disappoint. I did get some cute outfits for Julianna and lots of practical things like burp cloths, pacifiers, and diapers. Probably the gifts that I was most excited about were the ones that we really needed like the safety gate, the baby monitor, and baby medicine. Gosh babies are expensive!
Last night we had class at the hospital again. It was OK. I was just too tired to comprehend a lot of the stuff, but it was mostly about epidurals and meeting the pediatricians in the area. They talked for a while and then we had a question and answer session. We also watched a video on epidurals. I'm still not sure whether I will have one or not. I'll have to wait and see what I think then, but she did say that out of the 6500 or so births at Forsyth Hospial last year about 80% of people had the epidural. That number sure is high! The lady in the video that had a natural child birth said that she had always thought that she would have the epidural and then during the contractions she was doing so well and her husband was helping her manage the pain so well that she started thinking, "maybe I can do this without the pain medicine" and she asked not to have the epidural. Then afterwards she said how intense the pain was that she didn't think she could describe it. That it was nothing like anything she'd ever experienced. That made me a little scared. Anyway, a couple of things that I learned from the doctors that were there include random things like how to prevent SIDS and it was also obvious that they all supported breast feeding, but in almost all cases/questions they kept saying things like "it's a personal decision for you and your family" which was to be expected. I think the main thing I learned is that parenting is going to be a big job, but there are lots of people to help.
I am still only up around 25 - 25.5 pounds total which makes me happy. I have nine weeks left and I keep hearing how you gain most of the weight at the end. I am hoping to just keep it under 30 and maybe I can.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
still so sleepy
I slept a little better last night. I got two solid hours from about 4 am until 6 am. I got a late start getting ready this morning, but it was worth it. I even slept right through Jonathan taking a shower which I don't normally do, but that was good to at least sleep solid for a little while. My body must be finally adjusting to not getting the 8.5 hours of good sleep I am used to because I haven't gotten sick yet (knock on wood).
I had my doctor's appointment yesterday. I must be really scatterbrained though because I had written down that the appointment was at 3:45 and it turns out it was really at 3:15 so I was late and they rushed through it, but at least I got there. I have read on the message boards and pregnancy websites to not worry if you seem more forgetful now that you are pregnant, etc. I think it is because you are out of your normal routine and everything takes some adjusting to, but it's not like me to be late for any kind of appointment. It does seem like since I've been pregnant I have been a much later person in general no matter how much time I allot myself to get ready and get somewhere. Oh well. It's just another way that God prepares you for children, I think.
So the appointment went well. I asked and I don't have a UTI the baby was just probably pressed up against my bladder in an unusual position and I did not have high glucose levels after the screening test (only 129). I will have to have the strep B test at 36 weeks (that's the last test!) and I have to go back for my next appointment in two weeks. He commented that my weight had "seen a little jump" since my last appointment but that it was normal and common right after the holidays. That didn't make me feel too bad, but I do still want to slow the weight gain down.
Whitney told me a sad story yesterday about a young teacher at her school who had a premature baby in December and it needed an operation when it got to 5 lbs. Well, the baby never got to 5 lbs and then was in critical condition and they called the mom and dad over to the hospital to hold it and love on it until they took it off life support yesterday morning and then he passed away yesterday afternoon. How sad! It was their first baby and it makes me regret wishing that Julianna would be born early! I just want her to be healthy! So today my counter says only 70 days to go! I wonder how many times I will pee between now and then? Any guessers? :)
I had my doctor's appointment yesterday. I must be really scatterbrained though because I had written down that the appointment was at 3:45 and it turns out it was really at 3:15 so I was late and they rushed through it, but at least I got there. I have read on the message boards and pregnancy websites to not worry if you seem more forgetful now that you are pregnant, etc. I think it is because you are out of your normal routine and everything takes some adjusting to, but it's not like me to be late for any kind of appointment. It does seem like since I've been pregnant I have been a much later person in general no matter how much time I allot myself to get ready and get somewhere. Oh well. It's just another way that God prepares you for children, I think.
So the appointment went well. I asked and I don't have a UTI the baby was just probably pressed up against my bladder in an unusual position and I did not have high glucose levels after the screening test (only 129). I will have to have the strep B test at 36 weeks (that's the last test!) and I have to go back for my next appointment in two weeks. He commented that my weight had "seen a little jump" since my last appointment but that it was normal and common right after the holidays. That didn't make me feel too bad, but I do still want to slow the weight gain down.
Whitney told me a sad story yesterday about a young teacher at her school who had a premature baby in December and it needed an operation when it got to 5 lbs. Well, the baby never got to 5 lbs and then was in critical condition and they called the mom and dad over to the hospital to hold it and love on it until they took it off life support yesterday morning and then he passed away yesterday afternoon. How sad! It was their first baby and it makes me regret wishing that Julianna would be born early! I just want her to be healthy! So today my counter says only 70 days to go! I wonder how many times I will pee between now and then? Any guessers? :)
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