seventeen

Yesterday my sister and I ran outside. It was such a pretty day here and it felt good to be out in the fresh air. The husband came home from work early and offered to keep the little girl so we tried to run 3.1 miles up the road past the Dell plant and back. My sister made it almost all the way. I’d say I only ran about 2.5 miles of the 3.1 mile loop. It is very different running on the road when you’ve been running on a treadmill inside all winter. Anyway, I’m still proud of myself. My plan said that I was supposed to go 3.5 miles yesterday so I will probably try to make up that extra mile today.

I’m at the point in my training where it is getting harder and harder to go the distance. Saturday I am supposed to run 5 miles. The farthest I have run without stopping to walk is 4 miles and I have only been able to do that once. I am not letting that discourage me though and I am keeping on keeping on. Plus I have started to get lots of compliments on my appearance lately and that is very encouraging.

So today I hit my pre-baby weight. It took me almost eleven months and one week to do it. I never thought it would take that long and it seems like I have been fighting off that last ten pounds for an eternity.

Now I am half way to my goal of 34 pounds lost. I’ve lost 17 pounds total. Seventeen. Pounds. Isn’t that awesome? My BMI is back to a healthy number and I have dropped one or two pant sizes since before Christmas. If I lose seventeen more pounds I might be able to wear a size 6, but probably a nice size 8. I would be very happy with that.

I have run 81 miles since December 12th; 39 of those miles were in this month alone. And I STILL haven't had a soft drink. Now go ahead. Give me a pat on the back. Besides, my birthday is Monday.

eleven months

Dear Doodle,

Where, Oh, Where does the time go? Yesterday you were 11 months old. It seems like just last week that I sat down to write your ten month letter and here I am again.

I also can’t believe that you’ve almost spent a year with us. We’re planning a little birthday party for you! Just immediate family, but I know you’ll have a blast. I can’t wait to introduce you to CAKE!

Some of your achievements this month include learning how to gives high fives and kisses and hugs. When asked, you point out eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly and your all time favorite - teeth. You love to brush your teeth and you get excited when you see the toothbrush. You have so much fun trying to jump and climb. You love when we count, “1, 2, 3!” and lift your arms so that you “jump” high off the ground. You can sign eat, more, milk, and bath. You also feed your baby the bottle and play with giving it the spoon.

Occasionally you will say “Anna” when we ask you to say “Julianna.” You’ve also been saying Nanna and Papaw when we say things like, “Where’s Papaw? Can you call Papaw?” Your vocabulary has grown exponentially this month and you know so many new words. Words I never knew that you knew. I can say, “Julianna, will you bring me the giraffe?” and you will go to the toy box and find the giraffe and bring it to me.

You haven’t been sleeping that great because of those darn molars and a little chest cold you’ve gotten this month, but you’re still just such a good baby. We wouldn’t trade you for the world.

I spent the weekend away from you this past weekend because I went to the beach with the girls from church. It was my first night apart from you and it was so hard! I missed you so much! I had forgotten what it was like to not have our little routine. And when I came back I was surprised to see that I had forgotten parts of our routine. It took me just an hour or two to get back in sync with you.

Saturday when I called to check on you and daddy you talked to me briefly on the phone. When he took the phone away you got upset and starting crying, “Ma ma ma ma ma!” It broke my heart. I wanted to be with you so badly and pick you up and squeeze you tight giving you lots of kisses and hugs. I got off the phone and had a good cry. I knew it had to happen sometime and I’m glad you got some bonding time with daddy, but just know that I missed you very much. You are such a large part of my life now and being without you was like walking around with no watch, feeling naked and not having a clue what to do…

I love you girl. Happy 11 month birthday!

Love, Mama

soda or pop?

Beth over at Playgroup Dropout started this small change thing. This month’s challenge
is to make some small sacrifice and give the money that sacrifice would normally cost you and donate it to charity. There have been some good ideas listed in response to her post and I’ve been thinking about it a lot off and on for the last week.

I've also been thinking about Lent since Ash Wednesday was this week. I think I’ve decided to give up soft drinks for Lent. It’s going to be pretty tough because I used to not really drink soft drinks, but lately for some reason I’ve gotten back on a diet drink kick so I’ve decided to give them the boot (no pun intended – really). Anyway, I got to thinking about connecting the two. Sooooo, I guess I’m going to give up soft drinks for Lent and then whatever money (probably about $3/twelve pack) I save I will donate to a children’s charity.

I realize that Lent is longer that the monthly challenge should be but since Beth is extending her challenge from Feb. 15th to the end of March (to make it an even month thing) then I can surely do it one more week or so after that, don’t you think? It’s going to be hard people. But I am confident that I can do it. And besides, it’s almost Friday and I haven't had one since before Lent started on Wednesday.

stupid molars

little J has already cut one molar and apparently is cutting another. she's had HORRIBLE diarrhea as a result and on top of the runny nose she's had since Tuesday, she's really not feeling that well. her little tush is so raw because of all the poop. she's been a little crankypants. it just took her about 55 minutes to fall asleep for her morning nap. i can hear her breathing loudly through the monitor now.

anyway, i'm off this weekend for a ladies beach trip. i'm excited, but also stressed about the thousands of things i have to do before then so i am not going to post much today. here's some cute pictures of my little girl to keep you entertained.

i may be getting ahead of myself but....

I’ve been thinking about “the next baby” a lot. Names have been running through my head. Thoughts about what I wish I’d known before I had little J. Lots and lots of thoughts about better preparing myself for breastfeeding “the next baby”. If you’ve read this blog for a while you know that I quit nursing Julianna right about 3 months. I felt that she wasn’t getting enough milk and I was having a really, really hard time with it mentally and psychologically. It was just hard! And I was self-conscious and inexperienced. So I’ve been wanting to make sure I have anything that would help in any way at all make nursing “the next baby” easier than it was with little J and hopefully more successful. I want to get some nursing shirts and a sling. I picked up a Boppy pillow at that consignment sale I went to a while back. I also have lots of other goals in mind like having the baby try to nurse more in the hospital, etc.

I know that none of these things are necessary, but I don’t want any silly excuses to quit the next time around. I didn’t get a bunch of those things before because people told me that you could do without them and that there were always easier, less expensive substitutions to use instead. I’ve thought about it though and after paying over a thousand dollars in formula this year, buying a few special nursing pillows and shirts are worth the money if it helps me breastfeed more easily. I really feel more determined now although I know my thoughts will probably change when faced with the challenge again. It was hard, people! Anyway, please don’t judge me for quitting so soon and for admitting that it was hard for me the first time around.

Any ideas for baby girl names?

weekend wrap-up

This weekend was nothing extraordinary, but a weekend nevertheless and that is certainly a fun thing. We had the wedding rehearsal Friday night. For an interesting account of that, read this.

Saturday we went to the wedding and reception (at least the cake was awesome) while my sister babysat the little girl. Saturday night we didn’t do much besides watch “The Departed.”

Yesterday we kept the 1 year olds at church and then got Chinese takeout which I haven't had in forever. Then we visited my grandmother and parents for a little while. I came home and started packing for the beach this weekend. I didn’t get much done but it was a good weekend anyway.

I’m a little nervous about this beach trip. It will be my first night without the baby since she was born. And it will be two nights in a row! I’m sure we’ll both be fine, but of course I’m still a little anxious about it.

Got to go get things done. Happy President's Day everyone!

a note from little J

Dear WaWa,
Thanks for letting me eat lunch with you yesterday! I love seeing you in the middle of the day! You had so many fun things at your school! Thanks for letting me play with them. I love you!
Julianna

a note from little J

Dear Mamaw,

Thank you for the hat and mittens. I love them so much! I really like to go outside and mama makes me wear warm stuff if I go out so they have come in handy this week. I also like to carry the NC State teddy bear around the kitchen. Thank you for thinking of me! I love you!

Julianna

Papaw, Come Home!

I need some help getting the mail!

Why You Should Go Running With Me

• Because you’ll sleep better at night.
• To boost your self-esteem (halfway down the page) and build your confidence.
• Because it doesn’t require a special place or time or any special equipment. Just you!
• To develop exceptional muscle tone and get more fit overall.
• Running can help ease women's menstrual tension.
• To burn off all the calories from that Chick-fil-a Handspun Milkshake you had for lunch (that’s right – I saw ya)
• To set a good example for the little people in your life.
• It will relieve stress. In addition, you will also gain a greater sense of well-being and better productivity in life in general. Endorphins are the body's natural antidepressant.
• Exercise has psychological benefits such as increasing happiness.
• Because you’re physically able. Because you can!
• It might help you fit into those cute capris you wore last spring.
• Because you don’t have to.
  

And if I haven’t given you enough reasons already then take some time to check out this link. There are some really good ones listed there (scroll down a little).

i like free stuff and i cannot lie

I went to give blood the other day and those people made me SO MAD! My mom and dad always meet me there and we donate on the same day so that way they can take little J and go on home while I stay to donate. It was really crowded ‘cause, you know, we went on Valentine’s Day because they give lots of free stuff on holidays and such. Anyway, I was a little late getting there because the little girl woke up a little late from her morning nap and so I was really impatient to start off with and anxious about getting to work on time. I read and filled out all of the paperwork and they told me to “go on back.” Well, when I “went on back” no one said anything to me for what seemed like five minutes and I just stood there holding my empty bag and papers until finally someone told me to have a seat in another waiting area. I was the first person in a growing line seated in the waiting room. After about 15 or 20 minutes I saw someone raising their arm up and getting bandaged up to leave. I knew I would be taken back soon.

Then – wouldn’t you know it – someone had just gotten done with their paperwork and was told to “go on back” and they were taken next. I was LIVID! I now had less than an hour to give blood and get across town to work.

Luckily, someone else finished up just then and I was able to go next. It just made me so angry that they seemed to have a good system down and then some stupid people stopped following the rules! Anyway, all was right in the world again when they handed me my free muffins, T-shirt, and magnetic memo pad.

lots to do

• My sister-in-law’s wedding is this Saturday. I finally found someone to alter my dress and hopefully it will fit and even more hopefully it will be ready by Friday. We are taking Jules to the rehearsal tomorrow night so that should be interesting...
• My sister is supposed to close on her house tomorrow. There's been a lot of complications so I don't know if it's going to actually happen this week or not, but if so then I'll be helping her move some of her stuff this weekend.
• I also need to run twice before Sunday. I guess I'd better get moving.
• I'm also officially proclaiming that today I have to get back to eating better. Valentine's Day is certainly over and although there's still a half dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts sitting in my kitchen, I am going to ignore them. That being said, I need to get to the grocery store and buy some healthy food.
• My parents are out of town so I have to go feed their cat sometime today.
• Since I have today and tomorrow off work I should actually take advantage of it and get some lesson plans done and some papers graded while I have the extra time.
• I should also do some cleaning since my house is starting to look like it came from the set of the movie Twister.

So I think that's about it. We'll see how much actually gets done.

a visit to the children's museum

You may have noticed that I was absent a lot last week. It mostly because I thought Jules had an ear infection. I took a sick day last Thursday to take her to the doctor and the doctor said she must just have a cold, no ear infection - thank God.

Friday she was feeling better and since they were showing mom and dad’s house they took her to the local Children’s Museum. Here are some of the cute pictures. My favorite is Julianna in the J.

random thoughts on valentine's day

I used to have this calendar. It was one of those free things you got in the bags of stuff they gave you when you moved into the dorms in college. You know what I’m talking about, right? Those bags of coupons and free razors and deodorant and stuff? Well at our school they (the calendars, not the free deodorant samples) were called “Wolfwise.” It had sections of weekly planning areas and it was covered with important campus information like maps and phone numbers as well as important dates, etc.

My Wolfwise was like my journal. It was my life. I was (and still am) so Type-A that I wrote EVERYTHING in that darn little spiral notebook. Going out to eat with friends? Write it in the Wolfwise. Home for the weekend? Write it in the Wolfwise. Psychology test? Put it in the Wolfwise. Big ACC basketball game? Of course that would go in the Wolfwise. Period coming up? Make sure you get that down, too. Everything from work schedules to class registration dates went in that thing. I even got to the point where I would write down the silliest of events or phone calls in the Wolfwise. It became like a journal of sorts. And I kept the past years editions for reference. You could look back in those things and find out anything you needed to about my silly little life.

My then boyfriend (now husband) would occasionally pick the thing up and write tiny little notes in it. He would pick dates far out in the future and write something sweet on it like JWT loves CLM or whatever.

I still keep a calendar (I couldn’t live without keeping a calendar) but most of it is online through google. You really should see my running spreadsheet, but I guess that’s a whole other story. This blog has sort of turned in to my “Wolfwise.” As it should be, it is my journal and my way of documenting important events and feelings.

But I still get such a nostalgic feeling sometimes when I think of those dumb little spiral notebooks and all of those sweet nothings from my CTO. Sigh.

drooly julie

Jules cut her first molar on Saturday. I knew it was coming because her gums were swollen beyond belief. That and the fact that she had excess drool and diarrhea the few days before it. Luckily, there was really only about one night that she didn’t sleep well because of it and she only cried once or twice when she bit down on her sippy cup or spoon. I didn’t know that 10 ½ month olds would cut molars, but my mom looked it up and sent me the link and sure enough, they do.

At least at the rate little J is going she should be done cutting teeth by the time she’s two.

who do you appreciate?

Teacher appreciation week this week. It’s going to be rough on my waistline I fear. I had gotten as low as one pound above my pre-baby weight. Then I started this little cycle I’m currently in, you know the one where I don’t stick to my diet that well? Yeah, that one. And now I’m back up to only 14.5 pounds down and 2.5 pounds above pre-baby weight.

We have a short work week because Thursday and Friday we are out for winter break. For teacher appreciation week on Monday the parents had set up a huge room full of goodies for us to snack on all day. Tuesday they are taking our classes to lunch for us while we go have a buffet meal with our coworkers. Wednesday is a special chapel service honoring all of the teachers as well as Krispy Kreme doughnuts and coffee/hot chocolate all morning long in the break room. Then to top it all off we can stop by and pick up a homemade dinner to take home to our families on Wednesday afternoon. Is my school wonderful or what?!

Fabulous Weekend Recap

I had a fabulous weekend.

Well, we had our Dream Dinners date on Friday night. It went OK. I was a little bummed because we couldn’t really work side by side for any part of the time because none of the recipes we were putting together were at the same station*. Anyway, I’m glad we went and the best part was that we got home in time to put the little girl to bed and have a good dinner from Panera with my MIL. I’m so grateful for their willingness to participate in my shenanigans. Now for the next month we’ll be eating some yummy
CHICKEN WITH TOMATO, LEMON & HERB SAUCE,
CHICKEN WITH TEX-MEX RED CHILE SAUCE ,
STEAKS SOUTHWEST ,
BEEF KABOBS WITH TOMATO-THAI GINGER SAUCE ,
CARIBBEAN PORK ROAST WITH HONEY-MUSTARD SAUCE ,
DIJON & HERB MARINATED PRAWNS , and
HERB CRUSTED FLANK STEAK.

Saturday big J kept little J while I went shopping for a short bit. I went to a giant children’s consignment sale. It was really cool. Opening day for the sale was Saturday at 9 am. I’d never been before but I’d read that the line always starts forming early on opening day so I planned ahead a little and got there about 8:40 am. When I got there the line was wrapped all the way down the center of the mall and back (it was in an old mall department store area that is no longer used anymore) probably a mile total. They were only letting in so many people at a time so the place wouldn’t be too crowded (which I actually thought was really smart) and I was so far back in line that I thought I wouldn’t make it in. Luckily I made it in the first round. A friend I saw there was only about ten people behind me in line and she said that they waited almost an hour after nine just to be let in the doors.

Anyway, I got a bunch of stuff (pictures soon). I got some great clothes and five pairs of shoes for little J. Plus I got a boppy pillow (I’ll explain later) and some play food for the tiny little kitchen I bought her for only…

wait for it…

THREE dollars!

Yes that’s only three bucks, as in 300 pennies. I also got her a little desk and chair for when she’s a little bigger. I’m saving most of this stuff to give to her next month when she’s…. sniff, sniff…. turning…. sniffle, sniff, sniff… ONE YEAR OLD!

Then later Saturday I kept little J while big J helped his sister move for a couple of hours. Next he put up the bird house that we got for Christmas and the rest of the day we pretty much did nothing until dinner when we went to my favorite restaurant with some friends. We also watched some old Friends episodes and ate a lot of junk.

We have sort of made it routine that we watch Friends on Sunday nights and it has really become such a fun thing for me to look forward to each weekend. We decided to watch on Saturday night this weekend and we are almost through Season 1 of the boxed set I got for Christmas. Love that show.

ANYWAY

That brings me to Sunday. Church, lunch, attempt at a nap while the little girl was sleeping (but of course that fell through), then did I mention I ran FOUR MILES!!!??? After I ran on Sunday I got to indulge in a fun treat and the husband and I took a trip to Target and I picked up some Rubbermaid storage bins for the clothes that the little girl has outgrown. Oh such fun! I had a great weekend!

*And I’m way too impatient for us to have worked together on the same meal and - heaven forbid - waste time.

Please tell me why I was so afraid

I had this stunning realization yesterday. See I was supposed to run four miles on Saturday and sometimes I do put off my Saturday runs until Sunday, but Saturday I just couldn’t make myself do it. I ate poorly on Friday and Saturday and then Saturday was just a lazy day for me and I was completely unmotivated to exercise. So I waited until yesterday. Then we went to church and came home and had lunch while the little girl napped and before I knew it it was already 3something and I still hadn’t run my four miles.

I realized that I was not only procrastinating I was also seriously fretting over it. I was stressing out big time thinking that I just couldn’t do it. I realized that I was afraid of failing and afraid of beating myself up after I realized that I couldn't complete the run. I kept remembering all of those times recently where I’d run what I was supposed to run and felt awesome about myself. That feeling of pride that you get when you actually do something that you never thought you could do is certainly worth keeping around, but yesterday I just thought that there was no way I was going to be able to make it up to four miles without stopping and walking at some point. So I just didn't want to run.

Finally, I decided that I had to just try it because if I didn’t then the fear of possibly not being able to do it would be too overwhelming and I would just quit. (I know. Ridiculous, right? It's always easier to quit than to try.) Anyway, I just got on the treadmill and did it.

It really wasn’t that bad and I ran the whole. four. miles. Without stopping. FOUR. MILES. In about 49 minutes. I’m awesome. So proud of myself. So thankful for family that helps me do it. And so totally motivated again. Can you see me dancing?

April 10K here I come!

hugs and kisses

What's new with you, oh wonderful internet?

Here's what's new with me, in case you were wondering.

I still haven't gotten my dress altered for the wedding that's NEXT SATURDAY. I've called some places but they can't do it in time. I might have to go with some safety pins down the sides of my dress. Do you think I can hide them under my arms?? Hopefully it will be a short wedding. I still don't have a babysitter either.

I have lots of grades to enter for school. Ho hum.

It's going to be a Harry Potter summer and I can't wait! The next movie and the last book all in the same week (well, 8 days)! FUN!

I'm losing my motivation to run and to eat well. I knew the time would eventually come, but at least I am still keeping up with it. I am still 14.5 pounds down. I ran 3 miles last night. Saturday I have to run 4.

Here's some random recipe my husband showed me. I think I'll try it just for the sheer curiousity that comes with reading a recipe that must be... oh... at least 30,000 calories.

1 jar Ragu Pizza Quick sauce

2 8oz. blocks of cream cheese

Pepperoni

2 cups mozzarella cheese

Press cream cheese in bottom of casserole dish. Spread sauce on top and then pepperoni on top of that. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese on top and bake until melted. Serve with Fritos scoops.

and....

for your viewing pleasure this lovely morning...

When I asked her, "Where did that baby go?" she pointed up and looked behind the mirror.

and finally...

Julianna hugs the baby...

a note from little J

Dear Aunt WaWa,
Thank you very much for playing with me while my mama gets on that dumb treamill thingy. It's nice to have someone to entertain instead of being put all alone in that little play pin. I love you and I'm going to miss you when you stop living here and playing with me!
Love,
Jules

today in numbers

months until my birthday: exactly 1
cupcakes eaten by me this weekend: 4 (thanks Whitter!)
faculty meetings left this school year: 7
days until my sister closes on her house: 11
low temperature forecast for tonight: 14 degrees
pounds i've lost: 14.5
pounds i have left to lose: 19.5
school days left before spring break: 37
days until Julianna’s 1st birthday: 50 days (yikes!)
days of school left this year: 72
miles to run before the 10K: 124
days until HP Book 7 comes out: 157
days until our anniversary trip: 256
things to do between now and the end of February: 1 million

weekend wrap-up

Well I didn’t die. I totally survived. In fact, I kinda sorta had a little fun, but don’t tell anyone. At least I did it. Now I’m up 50,000 points. He he he. :)

I'm CRAZY

My husband likes to shoot guns. Don’t ask me. I don’t get it either. Must be a guy thing. Anyway, I’ve never even held a gun until the other night. See I signed him up for a couples night thingy at Dream Dinners without even asking him. I figured it would be a shared activity for us to do together (duh - a shared activity) that wouldn’t be so bad for him as say… shopping would be.

That was all fine and good until then I started feeling guilty about it. I mean I didn’t even ask him about it and I just signed us up. (I knew that I could always get my mom or sister to go along with me if he didn’t want to though, but that’s beside the point.) I felt so bad about how he always does things for me and I never do anything that he likes to do really except for watching movies. After thinking about this for a few days I went and did something CRAZY.

Remember up there where I said that my husband likes to shoot guns? Well I offered to go shoot guns with him. I think he was thrilled. But now I’m all scared and stuff. I don’t really know what I was thinking when I agreed to go do that. Anyway, we’re going tomorrow to some safe place (he assures me) and if I don’t die or shoot my toe off or anything I’ll come back and let you know how it went.

Dorkey Chickenbutt

The title of this post will be my new nickname for the weekend. Feel free to call me that whenever you talk to me this weekend. Happy Friday!

to work or not to work

Yesterday was a snow day. We didn’t have to go to school and that was supposed to be a good thing. Instead I stayed home all day and got nothing done. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I agonized all day about when I was going to find the time to run, what I was going to do about working next year, and how I was going to get everything done when I had a ten month old that wouldn’t nap. I mostly just wasted time. Ugh.

Oh and I played in the floor with my sister, the girl and a bunch of pillows. FUN!

Now I keep thinking about what I want to do next school year (as far as working is concerned). I’m sure it’s a result of all of these recent posts I’ve been reading about similar topics, but mostly it’s just a result of the dumb letter of intent that I had to turn in at work this week. It is such a tough choice to make. I never thought I would be one to even consider staying home and not working, but I’ve definitely entertained the idea since little J was born. I just don’t think I’m the kind of person who could handle that all day though. On one hand I think of all of the fun places we could go during the day such as the library, the children’s museums, apple orchards, etc. But then on the other hand there’s money involved and of course, my sanity. I just don’t know how it would affect me mentally to be home all day with no adult interaction. I currently work part-time and that seems pretty good except that I go to work every day for just a few hours instead of only a few days a week and Julianna stays with my parents. So then that brings up the whole childcare factor with the actually working another school year option and I don’t want to even get in to all of the possibilities there.

Needless to say, this has been a major source of anxiety and stress for me over the last few days and I get sad and frustrated every time it pops into my head. So I think a decision just needs to be made and no matter what it is I’ll feel better. I think I’ve come to that decision although I don’t want to post it just yet.

So on a more positive note, I’m down a pound today. That puts me at 14 pounds lost. Now I only have 20 to go and I am thrilled. I’m also almost at the 10% goal. I figure if it takes me until next year to lose it all then that’s ok. At least I will be healthier and better able to take care of my girl. I’ll also have a lot higher self-esteem and hopefully will be less sad all the time. AND I’ll have clothes that fit!