Overheard

"Dad, what happens to the clouds at night?"

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"Dad, there are plants in this Biology book! Hahahaha isn't that funny?!"
"Jules, that's because Biology is the study of living things."
"It is?"
"Yep, it is."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"

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Jonathan on the results of our recent Bath and Body Works shopping trip:
"It smells like a pina colada in here."

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The kids were having a conversation about how to make a baby and Jules told Josh that the girl has to have an egg. Josh's response: "But I wanted to hatch an egg."

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And this one's my favorite... sort of reminds me of the time Julianna blamed her mess on the Pilot Paula Fischer Price Little People figure....

"Jane, who got the marbles out?"
"Josh did it."

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dealing with depression and anxiety [part 3]

Alternate title: meme overload

This is the third and final part in a series of posts I've written on depression and anxiety. Part 1 from last week is here and Part 2 was published earlier in the week and can be found here. I'd love to have your input either in the comments or via email.

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I don't know everything. Not even close. I just want to talk about my experiences. The only things I really know about depression and anxiety I've had to figure out on my own. Since no one really talks about this like it's ordinary mental health, it's hard to share it with people without feeling like you're begging for attention or without feeling judged.

I first recognized I had some anxiety and depression issues outside of normalcy when I had a 4 month old baby. I had a really, really hard time adjusting to being at home all day putting someone else's needs above my own literally 24 hours a day (86,400 seconds).

My sister was in graduate school and lived with us during that time. My husband, mom and sister were a terrific support system for me with a newborn baby. They knew I was depressed before I knew. They cried with me, listened and talked with me.

As a first time mom with breastfeeding issues weighing me down, I was going crazy from the sleep deprivation, alienation from my ordinary life, and adjustment to all of the demands of caring for a child. I cried daily. I counted the hours until Jonathan came home from work. I hardly took care of myself.

After Julianna was about 5 or 6 months old things finally started getting better. I would say I was back to my normal self by the time she was 9 months.

I struggled for a little bit with trying to find a balance between being a mom and working or staying at home. I decided staying at home wasn't right for me and began looking for a teaching job again. I went through a sad time when I couldn't find the right job.

When we began planning on having another baby I became really anxious about dealing with PPD again. I was proactive enough to talk with my doctor and get on antidepressants when I became pregnant. When Josh was born I had a much, much, much easier time. Second baby, sure, but the meds helped too.  I felt ready to get off of them before he reached six months.

I got a full time teaching job before Josh was a year old.  I've dealt with parenting and working full-time over the last five years pretty well I would say. I've managed most of my emotions and stress with running. I haven't been on antidepressants at all. I've definitely had the usual roller-coaster periods but never been as sad as I was the past couple of weeks.

All of this being said, I would like to share the few things that have helped me.

Here are my tips for dealing with depression and anxiety for what they're worth:

1. Let your closest friends and family know that you're feeling down.

2. Make sure to get outside, sunshine or not, every day.

3. Make yourself run or do whatever other kind of exercise you typically like to participate in even though you don't feel like it.

4. Make a point to eat nutritious foods.

5. Read the Bible and think about what God has done for you.

6. Take a shower and get dressed in something other than sweatpants. Wear make-up and comb your hair.

7. Take a picture of something you're thankful for every day. Then flip back through them before you do to sleep.

8. Do all of these things even when you don't want to. Believe me: you're not going to want to but do them anyway.

9. Think about doing something kind for someone else. If you feel up to it then do it, but if not at least write it down so that you'll remember to do it later.

10. Make a conscious effort to rephrase what you say so that it sounds confident and positive. This is a hard one.

Leave a comment with the last thing you did but add "Like a Boss" to the end of it.

Any tips you want to add?

ten more ways to beat cabin fever

You've been through all of the board games and the kids are fighting and you can't even think straight anymore. What do you do? Honestly, I don't really know but I do have a handful of ideas. Last year I brought you Ten Ways to Beat Cabin Fever and today I'm talking about 10 More Ways to Beat cabin Fever.

We just got our first snow this year in WSNC but I know all of you northerners have been hit pretty hard for a while now so I thought it would be a good time to talk about what you could do inside to fight boredom. Grab your kids and sit them down for some of these fun indoor activities when the winter blues hit!

1. Make a T-shirt. There are a gazillion ideas on Pinterest for T-shirt crafts. I've got a post on creating your favorite team shirt coming up soon.

2. Make tic-tac-toe pizza.

3. Write a letter to the future you. Encourage your kids to sit down with you and tell their future selves some things. You can ask them some questions to get them thinking. For example, what do you wish for yourself in the future? What do you hope your life will be like? What do regret or wish you'd done differently? Do you imagine yourself as being happy? What's the most important thing in your life right now? You can write about those things.

You can also use this website to type the letter and it will actually be sent to you on that future date.

4. Plan your summer vacation. Okay, I simply have to give a shameless plug here for our condo at the beach but of course you don't have to plan your summer vacation to Myrtle Beach. There are lots of fun things that you and your kids can do to start thinking ahead to your big family trip. You can gather things from around the house and put together activity bags for the car rides. You can research activities to do while your there. You could give the kids a budget to stick to and see what they come up with. You can also write out a meal plan or itinerary and when the kids get to offer input they'll be more apt to not complain when you get there.

7. Watch some basketball! I don't know about where you are but I live in ACC territory and college basketball games can be relatively inexpensive and a lot of fun. On any given night of the week we can usually find a basketball game going on somewhere near us.

If you can't get to a game, then dig out your sand pails from the beach last summer and set them up Bozo the Clown style and see how many baskets the kids can make in succession before they miss one.

8. Create a new Zentangle. Here's the most recent one I started while waiting for Julianna to finish piano yesterday.

9. Give your kids your digital camera to play with. Send them to another room and see what they come back with. When they're finished you can even have a funny selfie contest.

10. Take out a deck of cards and a couple of dice. Have each kid choose a card and roll the dice. The numbers on the dice correspond to these twelve exercises and the card they choose tells them how many of that exercise they have to do. The game is over when everyone has finished 5 sets of exercises.

• 1 = run up the stairs
• 2 = tag the front door, the back door, and any side doors in your house
• 3 = jumping jacks
• 4 = arm circles forward and then back
• 5 = sit-ups
• 6 = leg raises
• 7 = squat jumps
• 8 = high knees
• 9 = heel kicks
• 10 = bicep curls
• 11 = kids choice
• 12 = 10 second wall sits

Bonus points if you can get your kids to alphabetize your bookshelves or DVD collection.

Now I want to know: How do you beat cabin fever?

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Edited to add: Hahaha I just saw a spot on the TODAY Show about beating cabin fever and they included a few of my same ideas. Remember this? We took a piece of poster board and cut big holes in it and hung it in a door frame in order to fly our paper airplanes through.

stories

Julianna was reading something about aliens one day and found that people actually buy alien insurance. Josh asked what insurance was and as I tried my best to explain he said, "Is that like no money down no interest layaway?"

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Josh was watching roadrunner cartoons one morning and he declared, "I love that guy! He always does tricks when he's trying to get that flamingo!"


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"That's half a snapping plant. It's made in new York and that red bit on it is its mouth."

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 (Watching TV)
"Jules, that guy looked like Austin!"

"Which one?"

"That one in the gray and black like four pages back."

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deck the halls

We got a small Christmas tree this year and put it up last Sunday. Jonathan hates it. I'm actually very thankful. It's just as pretty and was a lot less work. We spent less money and at the last minute decided to put it up on a stand so it would look taller but this actually created more room to put the gifts underneath which I totally love. Some think redneck tackiness, I think simple, easy, beautiful.

I'd recommend it.

I just need to get some presents wrapped and under it.

This year Thanksgiving fell later than usual and that means there's less time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It made it seem like we were really late getting our tree up and decorated on December 8th.

Josh put out his favorite little Charlie Brown characters and danced along with them for hours.

We don't have anything decorated outside really besides a wreath on the front door and small porch trees on either side of the front door. Some of my favorite decorations include our stockings, my Fontanini nativity set that I've has as my own since I was a kid, of course lots of different ornaments, and I'm sure Jonathan would say his favorite was his crocheted stocking from childhood that our cat shredded years ago while we were at the beach.

Josh is begging for outdoor lights and Jonathan actually told him that was a possibility. I almost died.

I'd love to get one of these Christmas signs but they're pretty expensive.

I'd love to hear about how you're decorating for the holidays this year.

Have you done anything different? What's your favorite decoration?

stories

Last Sunday Jonathan had to take something to his Dad's house after church and when they got there everyone was sitting down to eat so the kids went to the cousin's table and Jonathan sat down with all of the adults.

In the middle of the meal the adults were talking but a few of them overheard a conversation going on at the kids' table as well. One of the oldest says, "Well, I'm in second grade and she's in third grade and he's in first grade..." Josh immediately pipes up with, "And I'm in college!"

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I put a roasted cabbage slice on Josh's plate.

"I'm not gonna eat that, Mom."
"Dad, I don't want that."
"OK, but do I have to eat that."
"What's that stuff on it?"
"I'm not eating it."
"How much to I have to eat?"
"Oh.... yum."

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"Mom, when we get home can I use your cabletail?"
"My what?"
"You know that weight thing? That cabillpell? I want to get stronger"
"Ohhhh the kettle bell? Yeah sure."

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We were cooking dinner. The kids were helping prep everything and beginning to set the table and sure enough, a fight breaks out between the two of them over something ridiculous. I'm chopping cabbage so without thinking I said the first thing I could think of to distract them from their petty argument. Big mistake there.

I tell them how cabbage leaves can stop milk production in a mother's breasts when her baby doesn't need it anymore. Why oh why in the world I told them that I really don't know, but I did. So then I decided I better explain again that we don't talk about our private parts outside of the privacy of the doctor's office or our home.

The first thing Josh says when Jonathan walks in the door? "Dad, did you know that sometimes mommies put lettuce on their boobs to make the milk stop coming out?"

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Walking into the pantry Josh exclaimed, "Mom! You've got to see this! We've got to get a lot more stuff! We can go get the groceries I want! There's this huge space right here that we can fill up!"

Julianna quickly answered, "No, Josh! That's where the crock pot goes!"

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happy for Friday

I've had such a crazy week.  The first week of school is always exhausting because it's well, the first week of school but it's also because it always comes right after a week of long hours for me. Last week I had long workdays full of meetings and three night-time opens houses to attend between my own school and my children's schools.

My running has been pitiful. I fall asleep on the couch as soon as I sit down at 9 pm each night.  I know things will get easier once the school year gets underway a little more and the routine is established, but for now it's just been hard. Nevertheless, here are some things that have been making me happy this week.

This is my produce box from Terrasol Farms.  It was only $15 and had gobs of local produce. The bell pepper alone was larger than my entire hand.

My girl has been struggling to adjust to a new school and a much more challenging environment.  She's a bit scared, a lot overwhelmed, and just generally tired herself but she made me the sweetest card on the first day and she's really taking it all in strides so I think we'll be OK.

Josh, on the other hand has been at his new school for over a week now. He seems to like it pretty well. At first he hated that they took naps every day but I think he's gotten used to it. He even kinda likes that they give him a short homework assignment each night.

I got my hair cut a week and a half ago and I still love it.

Also, NC teachers get paid today and while I have many complaints about how the salaries were determined for this year I did indeed get a raise (albeit small) and I'd forgotten how good it felt to get a pay raise.

This weekend is a long weekend! Hooray!

What's making you happy this week?

overheard

This kids were looking through a Where's Waldo book the other day in the car and from the backseat I heard, "Jules, that one looks like he's got to use the bathroom!"

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Outside Josh was carrying around the mini basketball goal and trying to place it wherever he wanted it and Julianna sarcastically told him, "Wow, Josh! You're strong!" He answered, "Yeah and did you know I can carry two hippos?"

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Going across the Gateway Y bridge Julianna said, "I sure would enjoy kayaking down the Salem River!"

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"Jules, what is that?"
"It's lip gloss."
"What's that?"
"It makes your lips sparkly. I always carry it with me."
"So people don't think you're a boy?"

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"Julianna, is there any way you can change what number it is right here on this clock?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't change the time. I mean it changes the clock but not the real time."
"Well, what button is it? I really need to know."

(We have a no TV until noon rule during the summer.)

it takes a village

Jonathan was going out of town with his dad for the weekend so we made plans ahead of time for the kids to go to Mamaw's to spend the night Friday night. This was so I could get up before the sun Saturday morning for marathon training and nor have to wake them up to take them somewhere.

Wait. Let me back up a minute. In April when we went to Raleigh for the last marathon the kids stayed with Jonathan's mom (their choice) instead of coming to watch the race. Julianna had an active day followed by tons to eat for dinner and that night started feeling sick and threw up. She was fine the whole next day so she must have just eaten too much.

Then we went to the mountains for my niece's blessing three weeks ago and for some unknown reason we were woken up shortly after ten to the sound of Julianna trying to get out of the tent and then puking.

All this is to say that she had since had some anxiety about spending the night anywhere besides her own bed. She did not want to go anywhere this weekend but we talked about it many times with her assuring her that she would be ok... that it wasn't the fact that she was sleeping elsewhere that made her sick and that even if she did get sick it wouldn't be the end of the world. We told her how much it was helping us out to have her spend the night and that otherwise she'd have to get up at 5 am to go stay with someone while I ran.

Anyway, Friday came. She got sick. After many back and forths, I went to pick her up. We came home. I skipped my training run Saturday morning and I honestly do think she had some kind of minor stomach bug this time in addition to the worry of getting sick away from home.

Still. I was depressed. I missed my run and Jonathan was still out of town so I didn't know when I was going to do it.

Julianna was acting a bit better Saturday night at church. I figured I could just drop the kids off at mom and dad's before church on Sunday morning. They weren't happy about having to go to church twice but until they are old enough to stay by themselves I'm afraid they don't have much choice.

I sucked up my pity party. I planned my 14 mile route. I dropped the kids off at my parent's house right before they left for church.  I was not feeling it this morning but it was one I was just going to have to get done.

It was hard.  I walked a lot. My audio book wasn't holding-my-attention good. My stomach felt weak. My sister drove past me at one point, parked, ran 3.5 miles with me, went back home to feed the baby. I finished the last 6 miles running and walking whenever I felt like it. It wasn't pretty but y'all, I did it.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I say it takes a village to get Courtney to run a marathon. I'm so thankful for my mother-in-law, mom, dad, sister, kids, and training group. Couldn't do it alone.

stories

I was complaining about other drivers one day in the car and Josh just told me, "Stop worrying about other people's probability, Mom. Let them go to jail!"

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A different day all of us were in the car and Julianna had a headache so Jonathan and I suggested to Josh that we talk quietly so not to disturb her. He simply said, "OK dad I won't talk at all."  Too good to be true we thought... we'll see how long it lasts.

Sure enough, after about three or four minutes Julianna started singing to herself.  Josh looked over at her and said, "Sshhhhh! Jules has a headache!"

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Josh told me one day recently, "Mama that time I got into your tummy I had some security cameras so I could see what was happening. All I remember is that when I was a baby and stuck in your tummy did you go in the ocean?"

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We went to the main library for a kid activity about science journals. The kids were supposed to walk around and make some observations about the objects that were laid out on the tables. Then they were to write and draw them in their journals.

Julianna didn't want to participate, but she walked around and watched. Eventually she pointed out the paintings on the wall to Josh and when we came home and showed Jonathan the partially completed science journal I had to explain that there would have been more written inside except that our children were too busy making observations over the exposed breasts in the paintings on the walls. Sheesh!


 

by the numbers

283 minutes until my husband gets off work
606 miles run so far in 2014
31 miles run so far in July
1 bee sting that Julianna got this week
7 Oreos I ate for breakfast
11.5 months age of baby Jane (Shush! Of course, I can still call her Baby Jane!)

126 days until my redemption marathon
2 cups of coffee required to wake up this morning
200 approximate number of tomatoes on the vines in our yard
6 approximate number that will be ripe this weekend