dealing with depression and anxiety [part 2]

Continued from a post I wrote last week...

I've long since known that the best way to manage my depression and anxiety is through exercise.

When I exercise I get enough sleep. I feel good about myself and all other areas of my life have more meaning. I'm more patient with my children, I work harder at work, I work harder at home. I'm not lazy and lethargic. I pay more attention to what I eat and when I eat it. I socialize more when I run. I actually want to bathe and put on decent clothes instead of just sweats. Some of these are crazy sounding, I know. I wrote about a lot of these things when I talked about why I encourage my children to run.

As I've been working my way out of the funk that I described a few days ago I started making little lists of what I could do to help. I mentioned that I knew what needed to be done but I just didn't know how to start the climb.  Apparently, I just had to think about it for a few days and then just decide to start.

One of the things I kept thinking about over and over again was running.

For comparison's sake, the numbers below represent my running miles for the last 9 months beside of a number representing my depression and anxiety level on a scale of 1 (virtually none) to 10 (through the roof level).

And because I'm a nerd I decided to graph the data to see the real correlation.

You can see that there's a clear relationship between the ups and the downs in my mileage per month and my level of anxiety and depression.

Not surprisingly, my weight also has a direct correlation with this information. Naturally, my weight is highest when I'm depressed and not running. My weight is lowest when I care about what I put into my body and when I'm taking care of it with exercise, good sleep and nutrition.

This is Why I Run.

My weight is at the highest it's been in a couple of years. (I looked. July of 2012 was the last time I weighed this much and though I weighed ten pounds more than that just a couple of months before that, I refuse to put those ten pounds back on.)

It is not fun to dislike your body and it is not fun to feel anxious about everything, sensitive, and sad all the time.

I've started tracking my runs and including notes about weight and nutrition, not just times and distances.

Just like with dieting and tracking what you eat, I'm finding that simply by being intentional and taking note of this information I'm becoming more aware of it and it's helping me make better choices.

I'm sure if I listed them all out there would literally be a hundred reasons why I run. (I will save this post for another day because I don't want it to take away from the purpose of this series and Mental Health Awareness month.)

For now, I'm running for mental health. I'm running to manage my anxiety and depression. I'm running to deal with life.

Why do you run? What other ways do you cope with emotions? 

To be continued...

half marathon recap

Some friends and I went to Myrtle Beach this weekend to run the Divas Half Marathon. We left on Friday and spent a couple of days on the beach and getting ready for the race Sunday. We picked up our packets and were shuttled to the expo by men in golf charts.... felt like a total diva...

We dressed in tutus and took goofy pictures...

We fixed a delicious spaghetti dinner for our pre-race meal Saturday night...

We left the condo before sunrise on Sunday morning...

We got to the starting line and took a quick picture...

We headed to our corral and had our picture taken by a drone flying overhead. Then the gun went off and we took off. We had to weave in and out of crowds for at least the first 3 miles. Even the 4th mile was too crowded.

I ran with Kristine and Jessica for the first 3 miles. Jessica pulled away from Kristine and I first and then I caught back up with Jessica later when Kristine stopped to walk through the 4 mile water stop.

I stayed with Jessica in my line of vision until about mile 10 or 11. She pulled way ahead of me then and finished 5 minutes ahead of me.

I walked a lot for the last 5k but mostly during miles 12 and 13. I figured Kristine, Laura, Sherri, or Rachel would come running up on me during one of my walk breaks but I never saw them.

I kept asking myself, "Who walks during the last mile of a half marathon?" and would make myself only walk three or four steps before running again. Still. The last two miles cost me my goal time of 2:20. I finished in 2:22:02

I had three goals: 2:20, 2:28, and 2:30. Despite not making the first one, I am pleased. It's a new PR for me and I realized that I haven't run a flat course besides the Richmond Full Marathon in over two years. It was a beautiful race, but too crowded for my liking and too many newbies that didn't know basic race etiquette like when you walk get over to the right or don't run three people across.

It was a great weekend that we finished off by sitting on the beach and hanging out at Ocean Annie's.

Next race in less than 3 weeks and looking at the elevation map I can tell you right now that my time won't be nearly as good. Even so, I can guarantee that it will be full of fun!

what I'm loving Wednesday (a day late)

We'll be making these at my upcoming #DisneySide party but I'd like to share the link in case any of you wan to participate as well. The Winston-Salem Ronald McDonald House is asking for Valentine's Cards for the families that are staying there. Many of them are dealing with difficult circumstances and their family is split because of it. They might not be able to spend Valentine's Day with all of their loved ones and a card just might bring a smile to their faces. Please consider making a few extra Valentine's cards this week and sending them to the address below.

The Ronald McDonald House of Winston-Salem
419 S. Hawthorne Road
Winston-Salem, NC 27103

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Julianna showed this one to me. All I have to say is EXCELLENT! Well worth the three minutes to view.




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I love my church and if you're local I really don't have enough words to describe how much I think you should come. We're kicking off a new small group called Summit Runners and if you're a beginning or an advanced runner who has a passion for fellowship with other Christians then you really should come check it out. There's more info here and if you're totally not interested in Summit Runners then I encourage you to check out all of the other small groups that are starting up.

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Another running link: You still have time to join a winter training program with Fleet Feet. Here's a $20 off coupon that's about to expire next week. The programs that are about to start are great for beginners. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The accountability that you get from group fitness is incredible and the friendships you'll form by being a part of one of these programs are priceless.

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BONUS: I love how Jane says quadrilateral. Check it out.

links i love

Winstagr.am
This site compiles all the photos on Instagram that are tagged with the hashtag wsnc. So cool! Locals should definitely check out the gorgeous photos taken in our City of the Arts.

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Eagerly awaiting this completed development.

source

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It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of Fleet Feet Sports. I started my first training program there in January 2012 and it has changed my life. I have continued training with Fleet Feet for three years and I've made more successful changes as a result of my affiliation with this store than anything else. Plus, the friendships I've made and the confidence I've gained from becoming a runner are pretty amazing. I never would have thought I could do the things I've done with Fleet Feet.

If you're curious about running a 5K or some other distance, I want to encourage you to check out the training programs offered by Fleet Feet. Now through February 13th you can use this coupon to take $20 off any winter training program. The support and accountability that group fitness provides cannot be matched.

my {running} year in review and 2015 preview

Accomplishments in 2014:
I ran 1200 miles!!!
I ran for 255 hours and 18 minutes.
I burned 138,829 calories on my runs.
I ran one 5k.
I ran one 25k.
I ran one 30k.
I ran two half marathons.
I ran two full marathons.
I set three new PRs this year.

 

Goals for 2015:
Run local!
In 2015 I hope to finally beat a 30 minute 5k.
I want to better my marathon time by about 15 minutes.
I want to better my half marathon time by about 10 minutes.
I want to run 2015 miles with my running partner (1007.5 each).
I'd like to run a 5k with Julianna and Joshua if possible.

Races on my calendar:
January 3 - Frosty 25k
March 29 - City of the Arts Half
May 2 - Carolina Brewsfest Half
October 10 - Cannonball Half
November 14 - Richmond Marathon
December 5 - Mistletoe Half

I'd say it's been a pretty phenomenal year, but something tells me it was just the warm up!

Thanks for your support, friends!

goals version twenty fifteen

Last year I set some goals to meet/finish this year.  They included:

• drink less coffee
• run a marathon
• read 40 books
• spend less money on crap I already have
• wear my hair in a ponytail less
• finally get rid of the Appletini mix that's been in my fridge since something like 2007
• lose 15 more pounds (unfortunately, I think this one holds a permanent spot on my resolution list)

I think I've actually made it a habit to drink MORE coffee so that one's a big FAIL!

I ran two marathons, read 40 books, wore my hair in a ponytail less (except while running), lost 15 pounds and gained most of it back, and I promise I'll look for the Appletini mix to throw out tonight.


For 2015 I'd like to

• organize all of our closets
• increase my running pace by an average of 1 minute/mile (not a specific pace but I'd like to get faster by about a minute a mile for each type of run)
• read 40 books
• save a couple of thousand dollars for another vacation
• run another marathon and at least one other half marathon
• volunteer somewhere

Seems ambitious, but I know I can do it.

"I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless." Unwind by Neal Shusterman 

What are your goals for 2015? Inspire me.

Mistletoe 2014 Edition + 2014 Running Summary

I ran the Mistletoe Half Marathon Saturday a week ago. It was my last race of the year.

I ran it last year as a pacer and was invited to do it again so I gladly accepted. I also ran it in 2012 and this is becoming one of my favorite races since I consider it my "home course." I love that this race is in it's 31st year and that it is still improving. This was only the second time they have offered pace groups.

I was a pacer for the 2:30 goal time and my dad was signed up to run with me. Since he's still having a bit of pain he decided to run the first half with me and then meet my sister to switch off and finish the second half. The groups running with pacers were much larger this year than last which made it more fun. At the start I had probably 20 people ask me for the split times that we were aiming for. We had at least a half dozen people say they were going to try to stay with us. One of them was a former student of mine and her mother was along for the fun with her.

We started out faster than I would have liked for the first mile but I have a habit of that. Our average pace per mile was supposed to be right at 11:26 and we were at 11:09 for the first mile so we slowed it down and tried to stay right on track.

It was great weather. We were worried because it was supposed to rain the majority of the day but it was in the mid 40s and only drizzled a few times.

We did really well for the first 6 miles. We were averaging around an 11:20 pace and we were satisfied with that. There were about 4 or five girls staying with us and they were all comfortable and we were all pleased with only being 5 or 6 seconds fast. One man was doing run/walk intervals and he was staying with us to this point.

My dad broke off after Reynolda Village and we saw my sister ahead. She ran with me through Wake Forest University, back through Reynolda Village and Graylyn and then I started tanking around mile 10 in Buena Vista. This is a repeat from last year.

I walked about ten steps, saw a dear friend cheering, and kept on trucking. My sister was only about 50 yards ahead of me for the entire rest of the way. My pace group "passengers" stayed pretty much in between my sister and I for the last couple of miles and then started walking a bit for the last mile or mile and a half.

My sister probably finished 30 seconds ahead of me. My official finish time was 2:28:38 which is a new PR by about a minute for me. The best part is knowing that if I can do that time at Mistletoe, I know that I can do much better on a flat course.

I didn't think anything could top 2014, but I think 2015's going to be a good running year!

I'm on schedule to break 1200 miles for the year (which is 100 mile/month average) and I don't think I'll ever see that number again so I am completely proud of it.  I ran 6 official races this year: one 5k, one half marathon, one 25k, one 30k, two full marathons. I went through 4 pairs of shoes (even though my current pair has at least another hundred miles to go in them) and we won't talk about how much money I spent on running because I don't even know that number.

If you had asked me when I was 25 if I ever thought I'd run a marathon it would have been a quick, easy answer. If you'd told me when I was 18 that I'd run a marathon I would have looked at you like you were crazy. Now, I can't imagine life without running. It's my coping mechanism, my therapy and it makes me a better person in general.

If you don't run, I totally get that.  If you think you could never run, I'd still encourage you to give it a try. You may find that you were wrong. I know that I was.

marathon recap 2.0

I ran my second marathon on Saturday morning. It was the Anthem Richmond Marathon and the coldest on record since the race began in 1978.

We met with other runner's from Fleet Feet Winston-Salem in the lobby of the hotel at 6:45 am for a quick picture and pep talk from our fearless leader. Then we headed to the starting line. It was 25 degrees but surprisingly with all of the crowd gathered it didn't feel that cold.

I was tremendously nervous. In April, with it being my first marathon and just wanting to finish I wasn't very nervous at all. I had confidence knowing that I could and would finish it. This time, having a time goal made it so much more difficult to relax and my stomach was in knots before we got to the starting line.

My Goals
I would have been thrilled to finish in 5:20, satisfied to finish in 5:30, and extremely angry if I hadn't been able to finish in under 6 hours. There were only pacers for 5:00 and 5:30 in the back. I started directly behind the 5:30 pacers and kept with them for the first two miles. I knew it would feel slow but they were doing evenly paced mile splits and since my "real" goal was to finish in 5:20 I thought that would be good to start out at their pace. The pace should have been 12:10/mile overall for my goal and 12:36/mile overall for the 5:30 pace goal so I made myself not go in front of them for a bit.

By mile 3 I really couldn't stand it anymore so I pulled slightly ahead. I still couldn't feel my toes but everything else was fine. I had hand warmers in my gloves and the run was feeling pretty good. I laughed at a sign near the beginning that said, "You've already set a PR! This is the coldest Richmond Marathon on record!" and another that said, "I just want to cross the street."

Here's what I wanted my splits to look like and what they actually were according to my RunKeeper.

I was a few seconds ahead of pace for every mile (even in mile 10 when I went to the bathroom) until mile 17 when I started struggling. My goal sheet said to cross the half at 2:39 and I hit mile 13 at 2:39. I wanted to be at mile 20 at 4:05 and I reached that point at 4:09. By mile 21 I was running then walking short intervals.

I kept ahead of the pacers until the last 7 or 8 miles. Jonathan ran from mile 13 almost to mile 20 with me and then my dad met me at about 20 and ran to the finish with me. I was glad to have both of them there.

The crowds were amazing. There was a marching band and a few party stops with loud music. There was another cute three-person sign with the Frozen characters on them: "Do you want to run a marathon?" "It doesn't have to be a marathon." "OK Bye." There were lots of people in their yards cheering and supporting and offering beers. I actually took a cup of coke from a kid around mile 22 and I really don't know what I was thinking when I did that.

Anyway, it wasn't a bad run necessarily, but I never really felt like I found my groove the whole run. At one point I tried listening to my audiobook which I can zone out to sometimes but it didn't work that day. I really didn't want to deal with switching to music. I fueled with salted caramel Gu and really struggled to quench my thirst which I think was a result of the Gu and the cold and not hydrating enough with those.

The course was absolutely gorgeous! I loved the part by the river. The sunshine shining through the leaves was beautiful. It made me feel like I was at home running Salem Lake which is one of my favorite places to run.  Compared to Raleigh, the course was so much less crowded. I think that was because the half and the full courses don't really run together. It was windy on the bridges but warm in the sun.

The downhill finish was glorious. I saw my mom, Jonathan, and my training partner Kristine there cheering. I hated that there were three sharp turns in the last quarter of a mile so you could never really SEE the finish line. That just means that if I run it again I'll know what to expect at the finish. Here I am at the end realizing I'd just crossed the 5:30 mark.

My thoughts overall: I'm so glad I did this race. While my time wasn't exactly what I wanted, it was a great experience. I wish I had done the Richmond race first instead of the Raleigh one. It's certainly a learning curve and you gain so much from every experience. For example, I've noted that from both of my full marathons that I wished I would have pushed a tiny bit harder that last mile. I wish I had pushed a bit harder at the end to finish stronger. especially to get rid of that darn 40 seconds, but it was still a PR of about an hour and ten minutes and I'm pleased with that.

I've made myself commit to taking a season off from full marathons and not signing up for another before next fall. I'm pacing the Mistletoe Half and I'll probably do two or three other half marathons before then, but I'm hoping to train for Richmond again next year and have just as much fun.