Tuesday, December 30, 2008

new year, new start?

You know how it feels when you get so far behind it's terribly overwhelming just to think about? There are so many things I've wanted to post about and never taken the time to sit down and just write them out and now every time I get to the computer and think about posting I get bogged down and don't know where to start.

As I was laying awake last night listening to my daughter trying to breathe through and impossibly stuffy nose and tightening every muscle each time she coughed for fear that puke was coming next, I decided that I just have to scratch everything that's passed. So that's what I'm going to do: let the past be the past and just start posting again from today.

I've been spending a gosh awful amount of time getting my old blog backed up and getting this new one off the ground. I just got really tired of trying to deal with Wordpress' plugins and such (all the while knowing that I know how to edit the code in Blogger) and just wishing there was an easy way to make the transfer back to Blogger. I never could find a way to email posts to the blog through WP like I wanted to and even though it seemed to be a much more sophisticated program, I just couldn't figure enough of it out.

Anyway, I finally found a program that would work to export from WP and import to Blogger so I am migrating all my old posts over 50 per day (since that's the most Blogger will allow). I should have it all transferred by next week sometime. One of my New Year's resolutions is going to be to try to post more often or at least get back to some sort of regular posting schedule.

I've realized that I've also been avoiding posting because most of the usual topics I talk about in my blog posts (other than the two year old of the house) have become too depressing. For instance, I'm still not pregnant and the due date for baby number 2 is approaching quickly. Many of my friends that got pregnant around the same time are now having their babies and others have since gotten pregnant, etc. One of the hardest things has been news from those people who had their first after Julianna and are already pregnant with their second. I have high hopes for 2009 and I have definitely chilled out A LOT about TTC our next child, but it's still been hard and I haven't really wanted to write about it.

I've also avoided talking about losing weight or exercising since I haven't been doing either of those things and it depresses me. I was doing really well before my sister's wedding but then got quickly off track and because I wanted so badly to use the time in between pregnancies to get healthier and I actually did the opposite. Therefore my self esteem has plummeted so let's just talk about something else, shall we?

My job also depresses me. I don't mind it, I just wish it was something else. I am so thankful to have the money when we so desperately needed it. I love the two little boys I keep and I really have a good situation (great pay and I'm able to take Jules with me), but I would so much rather be in the classroom. If I'm going to have to work it sure would be nice to be able to pick what I do, you know?

And because I've been not writing about these things, I've only actually been writing about Jules and I know that gets old too. But that is one of the main reasons I started this blog after all so I am glad that I didn't stop writing those posts. Anyway...

So there you have it. A bunch of complaints and excuses for not posting. That's not what I intended to write this morning, but I got carried away. At least now maybe it's out of my system.

Jules is pretty sick today so I don't think we'll be doing much besides just laying around here watching Cinderella.

Now all you people who keep complaining about me not posting can finally get off my back! :) Kidding.

1 comment:

Emily said...

I'm glad your back posting again, or at least posted this one. I've missed reading the ramblings of whatever may be going on in your life. I know its hard to lose something you've never really "had". Something similar happened to us back in October. Its tough.

I also understand about the weight loss mess and wanting it to magically disappear because I don't have the time or energy to get out and do something about it because I'm too busy or at least mentally exhausted.

I too wish for another job, or at least better coworkers. I have grouchy, gossipy old women who get on my nerves. I wish so bad I could have my own business.

And just so you know, I absolutely ADORE your new page. Did you do it? If so, and you're open for business, let me know :)

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