Monday, November 8, 2010

all I want for Christmas

There has been no greater strain on my relationship with my husband than having the second kid.  You take two full-time jobs, then a little bit of chauffeur, and add in a couple doses of "What's for dinner?", throw in some possible ear infections, a puking four year old, and making several lunches and you've got two exhausted, stressed, I'm too tired tonight, honeys. 

We having trouble getting together a date night because we feel like we rely on the grandparents too much already what with the crazy dentist appointments and getting the kids to school without missing so much work that either one of us loses our job.  Not to mention that if we found a sitter other than family we'd have trouble paying for them since we've spent $200 in unexpected copays for doctors visits in the last few weeks alone and who doesn't want to just spend some quiet time with their kids after being away from them for more than forty hours each week anyway?

So all I want for Christmas is this.  I want a night out with my husband.  I want to be able to go to dinner and just sit.  I want to be able to slowly eat my meal and enjoy it without picking up sippy cups from the floor or cutting chicken into bite-size pieces.  I want to be able to go home and fall into bed at a reasonable hour because I don't have to bathe children, read bedtime stories, pack lunches, pick out clothes, and then pay bills.  I want to be able to sleep all night, without waking up once (at least not unless it's of my own volition, or until I have to pee which is inevitable).  I want to be able to talk to my husband about the crazy things we used to talk about, like you know, us, our day, our problems, and our dreams.  The things we used to talk about before we found it necessary to iron out the game plan for the next day in the only five minutes we have alone together each night.  I want a day when I can concentrate on my relationship with my husband and take a moment to remember why I committed my life to this man.  And I know this is asking a lot, but I want him to want it too.

Then I want a weekend where we're not running around from place to place going to birthday parties, meetings, grocery stores, school functions, etc.  I want a day when I can make my family the priority that it needs to be.  I want a day to go hiking together or a day to lounge around without any other obligations other than to just be. 

The sad thing is that in this season of life, this feels like it's way, way, way too much to ask.


Hayden Lindsey said...

I can totally relate. It's amazing how the second child makes such a difference in the time you have for each other. I also feel guilty about abusing grandparents, but they love being with the little ones, so maybe they like being abused (?). Anyways, regular date nights do make a big difference. I hope you're able to squeeze one in soon!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

I have the date night solution! Do you have a friend that lives nearby with kids? Swap babysitting with them. You get a date night one night with free babysitting and then the next time, you sit for them and they get free babysitting. This has worked really well for me and the kids love it because the people we swap with have kids their age.

Good luck!

Anna Ruth said...

Your Christmas wish sounds like something Chad and I were just talking about. We wish we had grandparents down here to watch Baylee so we could have a date night without having to pay a sitter. So go and enjoy yourself the kids will love being with their grandparents and the grandparents will love having them to play with.

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