Tuesday, August 26, 2008

twenty nine months

Dear Julianna,

Yesterday you turned 29 months old, but you act more like a 4 year old. It’s getting so much harder to describe your personality in these monthly letters by just telling a few stories because you are such a unique person with so much more to you than just a few cute anecdotes. It’s just so hard to capture your individuality in words. I’m not sure that anyone really understands unless they really know you. You are so <em>you</em>.

We spent last month at the beach with Nanna and Pap and sometimes Daddy, Aunt Whit, and Uncle Seth and I neglected writing your monthly letter. After all that had gone on during the previous weeks it was easy to be very self-absorbed and just sit down and write to you. It was even harder to adjust when we got back home and I just never got it written. So now I have to try to sum up two months worth of changes I saw in you and that’s no easy task, but I’ll try!

<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05393_small.jpg" alt="Jules and Court - funny faces" />

When we were at the beach you were completely in your element. You constantly told us, “I need, I need to go see the fish” or “I need, I need to go feed the ducks” or “I need to go to the swimming pool.” You apparently confused needs and wants, but that’s OK.

Your vocabulary has grown in leaps and bounds. This month you’ve been working on using the words “remember” and “favorite” – two big concepts for a 2 year old to understand. I do think you’re getting there though. You’ve told me about your favorite TV show (SuperWhy and Yo Gabba Gabba), your favorite song (strangely, it varies from day to day), and surprisingly your favorite friends (Brady and Collin). You often say you don’t remember where it is when I ask you about something. I’m so impressed.

You’ve also grown so much taller. Just while we were at the beach you grew almost an inch! We’ve had to really stretch out the use of some of your summer clothes these past few weeks so we won’t have to spend more money on clothes you’ll only wear for a little while.

As you start school again at the end of this week, you’re getting so excited about it and I’m getting worried about what shoes your feet will fit into!  You talk about playing on the playground and singing songs at school. I’m so glad that you like school since I always did. I’m sad that I’ll have less time with you each day, but at the same time I think being in the structured environment is so good for you and I honestly look forward to the little breaks it gives me.

<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05395_small.jpg" alt="Jules and Court - touching noses" />

Jules, I have kissed and hugged and loved on you so much over the past four weeks and I have been so blessed by your smile. Each night I thank God that you’re my little girl and I revel in the wonder of your life. I’m not sure that you know why Mommy has been so lovely lately, but I know it’s because I feel guilty for taking you for granted sometimes. I’m so lucky to have you and now that I’ve really realized it, it’s so easy to shower you with love.

I’ve been working on finding a job so much lately and I’ve been under a lot of stress because of it. School has already started for the big kids so it doesn’t seem that I’ll get a teaching job this year. This past Sunday I went to talk with a family about serving as their Nanny. It would have been a more than full-time job caring for the two little kids and you would have had to be shuffled around quite a bit to accommodate that work schedule although the extra money from a full-time job would help us out A LOT. I was sitting there later that night agonizing over a decision about it as I watched you and Daddy wrestle on the floor, weighing the pros and cons while watching you soak up all the attention he could give you. I realized quickly that no matter how much trouble we are in financially, you’ll only be my baby once and that you still need me. Any family that I’m going to work for full-time - that’s not my own family – is going to have to pay me mighty well to make it the best choice for you and me, kiddo. I turned down the job earlier today and now I’m considering other part-time nanny options. The money won’t be as good, but I won’t have to sacrifice so much to get it.

One day recently you declared, “I want you to marry me, Mommy!” and I followed your stare to a picture from mine and your Daddy’s wedding. With all the talk of being a flower girl in three short months, you’ve already got Wedding Brain. You say things all the time that make me smile, like “I be beautiful in a pretty blue dress and I walk down the aisle…” and “Aunt Whitney’s getting married in that church!” Julianna, I want you to know that you and me? We’re better than married. We have a mommy-daughter bond that no one can ever touch or change. I’ll be standing beside you always, here whenever you need me.

I love you Doodlebug.


<img src="http://www.aisforbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/dsc05391copy_small.jpg" alt="Jules and Court - sepia" />


Courtney said...

Courtney, I love reading your monthly letters to Jules! I've only been a mommy for about 1.5 weeks now but I've totally got the mommy emotions now. Reading this letter brought tears to my eyes and though I love every second of Claire being a newborn, I also look forward to when she's a little older so that we can experience the moments that you write about as well. God Bless!

Courtney said...

What are you trying to do to us!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Courtney said...

I'm in tears reading this, Courtney. You have such a way with words and are able to express your emotions and thought so eloquently. You have a gift and Jules is extremely lucky to have you as a mommy!

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