Friday, August 21, 2009

more on waiting

I got a note from someone the other day after I posted that wah-wah-wah depressing entryabout being unemployed. It was a rather thoughtful note that encouraged me, but I closed it pretty quickly after reading it mostly because my heart wasn’t ready to accept the emotions I knew it would provoke if I thought about what the person wrote too much. What I mean is, the person sympathetized with me and then gently suggested I make a list of all of the gifts and blessings that I have to be thankful for. While I knew that would be wise, my hardened heart wasn’t ready to “look on the bright side” yet.

Then I spent the better part of the week just generally moping around and being whiney and useless. [Yes, Michelle I am seriously hormonal.] I felt better after just putting my sadness out there, but I still wasn’t ready to move on. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it (and I’ve gotten up enough nerve to re-open the email that the person referenced above sent and actually think about it) I realize what I always knew before and I guess I am now ready to recognize it officially.

I do indeed have many gifts and blessings to be thankful for. I have an extremely dedicated husband who works from sun-up to sun-down for his family. He is an excellent giver, communicator, problem-solver, lover, gentleman, friend, and father. I have quite possibly the most clever three year old on the planet.

(Seriously. She told me today that at her Daddy’s office there are big machines like treadmills that work like levers and put the cabinet parts together to make a cabinet.)

I have a roof over my head that is full of plenty of material possessions, luxuries really, that we have acquired in order to make life easier and more fun. I have friends who care very deeply for me as evidenced in the responses I received on Tuesday. I have the blessing of another baby on the way. I have a healthy, trustworthy body and overall a relatively easy life full of God’s provisions.

In the post I wrote the other day that I kept thinking God had mistaken me for Job when the reality is that Job got his entire family taken from him. His wealth disappeared and he was even robbed of his health. As I told my husband, I really made an unfair comparison because I haven’t lost anything close to what Job had to lose or suffer through. Thanks to God for that simple blessing.

The truth about it is that I feel like I am a very capable teacher and that’s mostly what makes not having a job this school year so hard. Obviously, God has some other plan for this season of my life. For now, I’m just going to enjoy the remaining teacher work days not working, being at home with my girl and being thankful for the things that I do have.

And deleting spam-ish emails from old friends on Facebook who felt the need to offer me a new “business opportunity” after reading my post on Tuesday. Ahhh, the joys of putting life out there for all to see on the interwebs.

1 comment:

Nanna said...

...and you have a family that loves you unconditionally! Hang in there! We are going to make it!

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