dealing with depression and anxiety [part 2]

Continued from a post I wrote last week...

I've long since known that the best way to manage my depression and anxiety is through exercise.

When I exercise I get enough sleep. I feel good about myself and all other areas of my life have more meaning. I'm more patient with my children, I work harder at work, I work harder at home. I'm not lazy and lethargic. I pay more attention to what I eat and when I eat it. I socialize more when I run. I actually want to bathe and put on decent clothes instead of just sweats. Some of these are crazy sounding, I know. I wrote about a lot of these things when I talked about why I encourage my children to run.

As I've been working my way out of the funk that I described a few days ago I started making little lists of what I could do to help. I mentioned that I knew what needed to be done but I just didn't know how to start the climb.  Apparently, I just had to think about it for a few days and then just decide to start.

One of the things I kept thinking about over and over again was running.

For comparison's sake, the numbers below represent my running miles for the last 9 months beside of a number representing my depression and anxiety level on a scale of 1 (virtually none) to 10 (through the roof level).

And because I'm a nerd I decided to graph the data to see the real correlation.

You can see that there's a clear relationship between the ups and the downs in my mileage per month and my level of anxiety and depression.

Not surprisingly, my weight also has a direct correlation with this information. Naturally, my weight is highest when I'm depressed and not running. My weight is lowest when I care about what I put into my body and when I'm taking care of it with exercise, good sleep and nutrition.

This is Why I Run.

My weight is at the highest it's been in a couple of years. (I looked. July of 2012 was the last time I weighed this much and though I weighed ten pounds more than that just a couple of months before that, I refuse to put those ten pounds back on.)

It is not fun to dislike your body and it is not fun to feel anxious about everything, sensitive, and sad all the time.

I've started tracking my runs and including notes about weight and nutrition, not just times and distances.

Just like with dieting and tracking what you eat, I'm finding that simply by being intentional and taking note of this information I'm becoming more aware of it and it's helping me make better choices.

I'm sure if I listed them all out there would literally be a hundred reasons why I run. (I will save this post for another day because I don't want it to take away from the purpose of this series and Mental Health Awareness month.)

For now, I'm running for mental health. I'm running to manage my anxiety and depression. I'm running to deal with life.

Why do you run? What other ways do you cope with emotions? 

To be continued...

dealing with depression and anxiety [part 1]

A whole week goes by. I don't run. I feel bored, stressed, little energy, no motivation.

I don't sleep well. My back starts to hurt.

My diet, which had been going so well starts to crumble. My dedication fades. I stop caring about eating right.

I stop playing with the kids. I have little patience for their stories which seem to take an eternity to finish.

While I still cook dinner and switch the laundry over it's like everything moves in slow motion now.

I quit posting my thankful pictures. I just don't care.

I start feeling a pull to eat something horrible for me. I order a burger and hot chips at a restaurant. The 2000 calorie meal only makes me feel terrible. I sit on the couch later, sad and frustrated. Mostly just mad at myself. Plus, I'm miserable with a stomachache and gerd and don't sleep well because of it.

Then the stress and tension from no sleep causes a pulled neck muscle. The stiff neck makes me uncomfortable all day... not wanting to run or move or anything.... vicious cycle.

I go to running practice because I said I would but I don't want to. I'm only there because I said I would be there. That's reason alone to commit to group exercise.

But now, since I've messed up the beginning of the week in every other way, it's easy to find excuses to miss the rest of my runs.

I'm about as depressed as I've been since Julianna was five months old.

I long for the routine of a training schedule. I need the structure of a list and checking off a training run each day on a calendar. I long for a consistent diet and adequate quality sleep.

I need the exhaustion that comes after a hard workout. I need the physical fatigue that comes from a two hour run, not the fatigue of little sleep, pulled muscles, and couch-sitting.

I need to get back to eating nutritious meals and not feeding my emotions. At the very least I need to not eat doughnuts for breakfast.

I know what has to be done. It's could be any of several different things that I know will work. I just don't know how to start the climb.

To be continued...

Family Force Five {FF5} review + giveaway

I was not paid for this post, however Family Christian did send me a copy of Time Stands Still to listen to and review. Plus they are giving away an appreciation certificate to one reader. The links below are not affiliate links. As always, the opinions expressed below are my own.

image source

 

When we took the kids to WinterJam a month or so ago they were totally mesmerized when Family Force Five came out wearing wacked out suits and audience members stood up and started dancing all crazy to "Crank it Like a Chainsaw."  The "party" they threw at this show was what my kids talked about in the few days following.

source

When I saw that I had a chance to review their latest album "Time Stands Still," I jumped at the chance. This band is considered "crunk rock" which makes me laugh in itself, but I just love the positivity of their music and my kids love the upbeat party songs.

Josh said, "Mom they're the ones that wore glow-in-the-dark clothes, right?"

No we go down the road singing B-Z-R-K, B-Z-R-K, Go berserk and bouncing along.

Family Force Five

Use the widget below for your chance to win a $10 certificate to Family Christian and you can get your own copy.  Giveaway ends Sunday 5/3.

Family Force Five Review and Giveaway

what i love wednesday

Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore

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I've just finished this book and it was unique. I love when you stumble upon a movie or book that doesn't fit one of the standard formulas. If you like to read, I think you'll enjoy this one.

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source

Kind Bars STRONG & KIND


Flavors like Hickory Smoked, Roasted Jalapeno, Honey Smoked BBQ, Thai Sweet Chili, and Honey Mustard.  Enjoy free shipping with code APRILSHOWERS on all orders over $25 from 4/20 to 4/24. The BBQ and Jalapeno are my favorites.

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This Boston Marathon story

I remember watching the Boston Marathon two years ago. I did the Boston Strong run one week after the bombing. I watched it this year and read all the news stories after. This was by far my favorite.


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This swimsuit

It's juniors sizing but adorable and there are tons of other cute ones by Arizona from JC Penney not just for juniors.


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This man

I'm not that great at this birthday shout-out thing but there is a certain husband of mine that turned THIRTY-EIGHT yesterday. He's spent 18 of those years with me and for that reason alone he deserves to have the most awesomest of birthdays. Happy birthday, Booger!

And that's what I love this Wednesday.
What are you loving lately?

by the numbers

1. 38 days of school left
2. 6 teacher work days left
3. 55 days of summer vacation
4. 42.3 miles run in April
5. 312.2 miles run in 2015 (a bit behind schedule for 100/month)
6. 6 days in a row without running last week
7. 2 days until we get to hear Ben Folds
8. 13 books read in 2015 (a bit behind schedule for 1/week)
9. 2 weeks until my next race
10. 9:54 am the time that my chicken salad sandwich was eaten from my lunchbox this morning
11. 1 week until my next giveaway
12. 25 minutes it took me to read JK Rowling's most recent book
13. 25 pounds I'd like to lose (probably related to number 10)
14. 7 episodes watched of Parenthood so far
15. 2 movies we're going to see in the next week (one at RiverRun Film Festival and one pre-screening of War Room)
16. 2:22:02 my best half marathon time which also happens to be Shalane Flanagan's best Boston Marathon time (HA!)
17. $360 the amount of money it costs to register early for the Goofy Challenge at the Walt Disney World Marathon
18. 38 gifts I've bought for my husband's 38th birthday
19. 4 weekends available in our condo at the beach during the next month
20. 1,210,033 people in Costco yesterday

stories

Josh runs in the living room with the Magic 8 ball he hasn't played with in over a year. "Mom!" he says, "What does this thing do?" I explain that you have to ask it a yes or no question and then turn it over to reveal its answer. He steps away from me a few feet and whispers, "Am I ever going to be able to get a gun?" He turns the 8 ball over and brings it to me and asks me to read the answer.

"My sources say no," I read.

Stomping his foot he whines, "Mooooommmm, why's it giving me your answers?!"


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Hey dad have you ever seen somebody poot so hard that you saw it turn green?

I've never seen anybody poot, buddy.

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I just want to take my pants off!

Well if you take your pants off we're going to bed.

Ok fine. I'll just take my shirt off then!

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"Mom, when Santa makes toys out of wood, what does he do with the leaves from the tree branches?"
"Maybe he grinds the leaves up and makes paint with them, Josh."

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Josh and Julianna built a fort with the couch cushions. Julianna knocks on the door and says, "Hi! It's Julianna Tucker. Can I come in?" She goes in and he tells her it's time to order the pizza. So he calls and orders the pizza. Besides telling the pizza person our phone number for our address he also tells them he wants one cheese pizza and one pizza with one pepperoni slice on it. Clearly he's not related to me.


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I was lying on a towel on our deck in the sun and Josh came up to me with a itty bitty handheld fan he'd gotten from somewhere. I had one arm folded in half under my head and one arm down by my side. He takes his time and aims the fan at each of my legs for a few minutes. Then he moves to the arms starting with the one by my side and then moving to the one folded under my head. He takes on look at it and says, "Hey Mom! This arm's a little bit fatter than the other. Did you know that?" "Sure, Josh." "You must use the other one more. Do you?" "I guess so, Josh. It's my right arm and I'm right handed so I do use it more."

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inspirational running quotes

Sayings to help you get through the miles:

Motivational Quotes

• A run begins the moment you forget you are running. Adidas
• A hero holds on one minute longer.
• The feeling you get from a good run is far better than the feeling you get from sitting around wishing you’d run.
• There is no one giant step that does it. It is a lot of little steps.
• I may not be the strongest. I may not be the fastest. But I’ll be damned if I’m not trying my hardest.
• When you feel like quitting think about why you started.
• If you wait for the perfect conditions you’ll never get anything done.
• The voice inside your head that says you can’t do this IS A LIAR.
• It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.
• Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.
• Sometimes you just have to pull up your big girl panties and do it whether you want to or not.
• Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
• The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.
• Unless you puke, faint, or die KEEP GOING.
• When someone tells you “you can’t” turn around and say “watch me.”
• Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.
• Don’t give up. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
• Tough runs don’t last. Tough runners do.
• Success isn't give. It’s earned.
• Strive for progress, not perfection.
• One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now.
• Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret.
• Let us fix our eyes on Jesus and run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1
• No one can take away your finish line, even if they crossed it first.
• “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” Id’ rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity.
• Don’t give up what you want most, for what you want now.
• Believe that you can and you’re hallway there. Theodore Roosevelt
• The dream is free but the hustle is sold separately.
• Excuses will always be there for you. Opportunity won’t.
• If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward. MLK Jr.
• Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does anybody else.
• Old ways won’t open new doors.
• The man on top of the mountain didn't fall there.
• It’ll feel better when it stops hurting.
• What if this were your only chance? Sure, it’ll be painful, but what’s pain? Franz Stampfl
• Strength doesn't come from what you CAN do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you COULDN'T.
• I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.
• The only thing you CAN'T do is STOP.

Words From Coach

I also copy the last email and pacing strategy from my Fleet Feet coach.

And finally, I make a list of 

People to Remember

This really helps me for some reason. It's kind of like praying for that person each mile, but also more like praying "God, help me not let this person down" or "God, thank you for this person and the influence they've had on me" etc. Very helpful!


I'd love to know:
What are your favorite motivational sayings?