Friday, January 20, 2006

faith

So I called in sick to Curves yesterday which I guess was a good thing. I feel better this morning but I think it's just because I slept better. I still woke up a lot, but at least I was able to go back to sleep. I also took a one hour nap when I got home from school. I know that a lot of it is stress and worry, but I also know that it can't be this way forever. There is a quote on a bulletin board that we pass each Sunday that we are at church that says, "The God of the mountain is still the God of the valley."

Psalm 31:9-16 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress. My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning. My strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. I am the utter contempt of my neighbors. I am a dread to my friends-- those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead. I hear the slander of many. There is terror on every side. They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O LORD. I say, "You are my God.“ My times are in your hands. Deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love.

I read soemwhere last night that God often doesn't answer our prayers because our lack of faith hinders Him from doing so. When I am dead and gone I want to be remembered as one who had great faith. Sometimes when something good happens I think, "I can't believe my luck!" when really I want to start thinking differently. I want to think, "I knew that with God all things were possible." I don't want to doubt that good things will happen because "they never do" but I want to expect that they will happen because I am depending on God. I hope that Jonathan and I teach our children how to have great faith and always be dependent on God.

Yesterday when I took a nap, Simon curled up on the body pillow right up against my belly and slept in a ball. He started purring so loudly. I wondered if Julianna could hear his purrs. She was certainly kicking at him up against her. :)

I put the shower gifts away last night from the shower here at school on Monday. When I was putting that stuff away I again realized how much stuff I have to do before she is born. I have lots of clothes to wash and bedding and stuff. Oh well. I'll get it done sometime.

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